If there is such a thing as reincarnation, I hope I come back a lot dumber.
I'll watch all the popular TV game shows and get upset when the longtime host dies or quits, and get hooked on Dancing With the Stars and talk about it the next day at my job at a big tech company.
I'll frequent chain restaurants like The Olive Garden and eat lobster rolls and drink specialty cocktails like Cosmos.
I'll attend Super Bowl tailgate parties and be in a weekly bowling league.
I'll do karaoke and get manis and pedis.
I will have tons of friends who think just like me. (We will all be Democrats.)
I won't be Jewish and I'll never worry.
I will definitely wear flip-flops, at least in summer and maybe even into late fall.
Best of all, I will get fatter and fatter every year and not care.
I can't wait.
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