Getting With the Program

Okay, that's it! I've had it with swallowing all those pills for my high blood pressure and soaking in a hot tub to combat the constant aches and pains of arthritis and chasing those extra ten pounds that keep me away from that little black dress in the back of my closet that I bought on a particularly thin day. There's nothing stopping me, so I am going to go for it: I'm going Paleo!

My husband has been a caveman for some time. I often call him "Kong," usually right after he breaks something fragile--or not even at all fragile. Mitch has tried to get me to follow his path and I have resisted, but what else am I doing besides aging badly? So last night I studied the lists of the foods I can eat and the foods I can't eat, and I realized that I will have so much more time to do other things since there's so little I can eat. Anyway, I'm ready to go back in time and eat the way our ancestors did. I will continue to use my washer and dryer, however--after all, I'm not turning Amish. (Not that there's anything wrong with that.)

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go kill breakfast.