Tuesday, August 3, 2021

News Nobody Needs

Governor Andrew Cuomo has been found guilty on several counts of sexual harassment and many people in high places are calling for his resignation, and I don't care. I might have if he hadn't been responsible for the deaths of countless elderly people in nursing homes in New York, not to mention renaming my favorite-named bridge, The Tappan Zee, after his dead father, admittedly a good guy but really, Andrew Cuomo Bridge hardly evokes the literary mystique that the Hudson Valley deserves.

Gymnast Simone Biles came back to compete after pulling out due to mental issues, winning bronze, also known as third place, on the balance beam, and I don't care. I might have cared if I cared about balance beams or the Olympics or gymnastics in particular, but none of it matters, especially since I don't eat cereal which is where all those winning athletes seem to end up.

Comedian Kathy Griffin announced she has lung cancer and I don't care, in fact I'm sort of glad. I might have cared if she hadn't been so hateful a few years ago, carrying around a fake decapitated Trump head like it was funny. She claims she never smoked, so probably the bloodied head got her the cancer.

Sunday, August 1, 2021

Open Your Mind

Doctors performing brain surgery on a Democrat.

I am in favor of abortions and have had several. I do not own a gun and would not under any circumstances. I have never driven a pickup truck. I hate country music. I am not religious. I have many gay friends. I currently smoke pot and tried LSD long ago, as well as a few other recreational drugs popular during my youth. I attended the Woodstock music festival. I am fully vaccinated against Covid, as are all of my friends, some of whom share my political leanings.

A former employee of The Democratic National Committee and up-til-then hardcore Democrat, I have voted Republican since the sexual predator Bill Clinton came on the scene in his boxers, or was it briefs, wearing shades and playing the saxophone on the Arsenio Hall Show. (What an a-hole.)

So please stop saying "All Republicans this," or "All Republicans that," like they do in the New York Times. It's embarrassing. Instead, open your mind to the possibility that everyone knows what's best for them.

Saturday, July 31, 2021

Kill All the Robots

I feel sorry for young people who have no memory of a time when calls to businesses were answered by real live "receptionists" who said, in dulcet tones, "Hello, how may I help you?" And they really did help you, instead of putting you on hold and forcing you to listen to a bunch of drivel or bad elevator music. 

Sadly, those days are long gone, with all those nice ladies replaced by bizarre robots answering virtually all  phones, including at your doctor's office. 

Robocalls flood our homes with nonsense and probably have a lot to do with the rising murder rate. I know I feel like killing someone when I have to listen to one more robot tell me old news about Covid-19 and how I have to wash my hands and use a mask, as if robots have hands or a face! What do they know? Making matters worse, often every word is in a totally different voice, or pitch, making them  sound like creatures from Dr. Fankenstein's laboratory.

I say kill them all.

Thursday, July 29, 2021

Things I'm Sick Of

Trans woman: "Hey, look at my big sexy breasts!"


mixed race couples in every commercial, like life is really like that

transgender women dressing like sexpots, wearing lots of makeup

transgender men who still look and sound like women


people who think that more diversity will fix things

Joe Biden

black lives matter signs

babies and toddlers in Chicago and DC getting killed on the streets

hearing about Covid

hearing about the vaccines

hearing about masks

Dr. Anthony Fauci

pictures of Anderson Cooper's baby, as if it's his baby

the border crisis

Wednesday, July 28, 2021

Killing Time with the Olympics

Last weekend my husband and I spent some time doing a jigsaw puzzle I gifted him for his recent birthday. He caught the bug early in the pandemic and did a few of them, then got over it, so it was fun to reignite an old passion. But after awhile he said he didn't want to "waste too much time" doing the puzzle, especially since the Olympics were on TV.

So he sat down in from of the TV and proceeded to watch a bunch of young women, some of them just girls really, do backflips and jump off of balance beams, then watched a different bunch of young women play beach volleyball. I couldn't help but think that was a far greater waste of time than doing the jigsaw puzzle, which at least was something he was actually doing himself.

Many people believe that watching the Olympics is something to be admired. They feel self-righteous, as if they themselves were exercising and thus reflecting good health, when all they're doing is just watching TV like always, sitting on their butts and maybe eating some snacks at the same time. Instead of a detective show it's people swimming or lifting weights. Big whoop.

Besides, who decided what is a respectable way to spend time? It might be playing chess for one person (yawn) and baking blueberry muffins for another (ask me for my recipe, they are to die for). Or doing nothing but walking and listening to the birds. After all, those Buddhist monks who live in complete silence on a mountaintop for 20 years are still living legitimate lives. I say do whatever you want with your allotted years and if it's not hurting anyone else, enjoy it.

Tuesday, July 27, 2021

Biden's Blatant Racism

I've been denying it all along, but I finally have to concede that systemic racism is alive and well in America, most obviously in the Biden administration. As proof look no further than this development as reported in today's Wall Street Journal: 

"President Biden put forward his first set of nominees to lead U.S. attorney's offices across the country..... The eight picks unveiled Monday include the first black Americans to lead several offices..... Mr. Biden's picks, six of whom are black....."

In a transparent and grasping attempt to compensate for the horrors of years of discrimination against blacks, our government is now engaging in discrimination against whites. Let's not forget that our current Vice President was chosen because she is a "woman of color." Was she, and all those attorney nominees, chosen for the content of their character or the color of their skin? 

Call it what you will -- payback, reparations, justice -- it's still racist. What would Dr. Martin Luther King say?

Monday, July 26, 2021

Fact-checking the New York Times

Goodbye Jackie, we will miss you!

We buy the New York Times every Sunday in order to do the crossword puzzle in the magazine. Usually that's all I look at, but yesterday something else caught my eye: the obituary of Jackie Mason, one of my all-time favorite comedians. A Jew and a Gemini like myself, also born in June very close to my own birthday, I always related to Mason's humor. Besides seeing him on TV countless times since I was a kid, I have seen Mr. Mason perform live on stage at least three times, and each time almost busted a gut laughing. (One time I'm pretty sure I peed in my pants.)

The headline of the obituary was, "Jackie Mason Dies at 93." But the article cited his birth date as June 9, 1931. Wouldn't that have made him 90 at death? After researching a few more reputable sources, I learned that he was actually born in 1928. 

Those folks at the Times are at it again. If you read that paper, best to take it all with a grain of salt.

News Nobody Needs

Governor Andrew Cuomo has been found guilty on several counts of sexual harassment and many people in high places are calling for his resign...