Saturday, June 22, 2024

Why Americans Are So Fat

A new supermarket opened here in Maine and my husband I went to check it out since we were in the neighborhood. While I had heard about Market Basket because there are others in our part of the country, I had never been inside one. I figured it would be the same-old same-old, but I was wrong. It was the same-old same-old on steroids.

Since we were just going to take a quick look around and leave, having gone grocery shopping the day before at our usual market, it was surprising that when we finally left 45 minutes later it was with three big bags full of food we didn't need.

It was exhilarating! It was exciting! It was enormous! Almost as enormous as all the shoppers who packed the place, their carts overflowing with fabulous finds at low prices. Personally I was attracted to the bakery, which boasted in giant letters, "THE BEST DONUTS." Who could resist that? (Not me.) All the fruits and veggies were so beautiful and displayed so artfully, they looked fake. And the meats and the breads and the fish -- everything was perfect and cost so much less than at other stores, only a fool wouldn't stock up.

The only downside was that the store is huge and none of the employees, many of whom did not speak or understand English, had no idea where anything was, so you had to wander up and down the endless aisles hoping to come upon whatever it was you thought you needed. Along the way, of course, you picked up some of this and some of that. My personal find was a piping-hot rotisserie chicken for $4.49, or less than a coffee at Starbucks! 

There was also a food court at the front of the store selling sushi and pizza and French fries and beef stew and soups and sandwiches and more, I couldn't get close enough to see it all because of the crowds.

I'm never going back there.

Friday, June 21, 2024

Jews and Bagels

I recently joined a Facebook group called "We Love Jewish Food," which I shall be leaving momentarily, like right after I post this blog. As an excellent cook who grew up at the feet of my grandmother, The World's Greatest Cook Ever, I figured it would be fun and even educational to read some recipes from other Jewish cooks, and even non-Jewish ones. 

Alas, that has not happened. Instead everyone just posts pictures of bagels! They talk about bagels incessantly -- apparently the Everything bagel is the most popular. Listen people -- real Jews don't just sit around eating bagels at every meal. In fact, this particular Jew has a bagel maybe once a month. 

That kind of thinking is very stereotypical (see illustration), like saying we all have big noses and are cheap. While my own nose is bigger than I wish, as it has grown over the years -- did you know the nose and the earlobes get bigger all our lives? -- it used to be small, and I am I far from cheap, in fact generous to a fault, you might say, considering I have spent many thousands of dollars on my sister-in-law and her three ungrateful kids over the years for Christmas and birthdays and have gotten in return only cheap crap from the Dollar Store that went straight to the trash, but that's another post. (BTW, they are not Jewish.)

Thursday, June 20, 2024

Dropping Dead at the CVS

I went to the pharmacy to pick up my blood pressure medication. The clerk who came to the window almost gave me a heart attack right then and there. Without exaggeration, this is what he looked like: 

Medium height, medium build Caucasian, about 28 years old. His hair was a bright lavender and had obviously been permed. Both ear lobes were heavily pierced and punctured with two enormous reddish-black gauges that looked like blood clots. A thick, silver-toned nose ring with a downward-pointing arrow at each end exited his nostrils and scared the shit out of me. His cheeks, forehead and lips were dotted with five or six silver balls pierced through the skin. He looked, in a word, Satanic.

I had to turn away as I asked to speak with the pharmacist. He said the pharmacist was busy and maybe he could help. I wanted to say he needed help more than me, but instead I just said I'd wait.

I have no idea why CVS hires people who look like that to work in the pharmacy department, where so many of the clients are seniors. I wonder how many have died on the spot on that young man's watch. 

Wednesday, June 19, 2024

Which Threat to Democracy Do You Fear?

I literally struggle each day to understand how Democrats can find Joe Biden and Kamala Harris acceptable as rulers of our once-great nation. What am I missing? Are they on drugs? How come I only can see a feeble, frail old man who mumbles and bumbles his way through most public appearances and a truly ditzy woman who makes no sense whenever she shows up anywhere and tries to talk? And why do they accuse Republicans of doing the very things they are doing in spades? 

It's like those ink blots that look like a vase one minute, and then if you look at it a different way it's two profiles facing one another.

Admittedly, I have felt this way regarding many things before. Like does anyone now or did anyone ever think that TV personality Joy Behar has talent of any kind? Do people really not understand that abortion is actually the ending of a life, no matter their politics? How can someone believe that Donald Trump committed 34 separate felonies? Do gay couples who adopt truly believe that they "had a baby?" And who does not notice that Bruce "Caitlyn" Jenner still looks and sounds like a man, despite the costume of long hair, painted fingernails, face and eye makeup and stiletto heels?

I think if I were offered a dose of whatever those people are on I would swallow it down in a heartbeat, just to stop rolling my eyes so much that it hurts.

Tuesday, June 18, 2024


Jeremy and Kaleb are quite the comic duo.
I heard about this series streaming on Amazon Prime by chance while listening to a radio talk show. It's not one of those "must-sees" that are advertised non-stop, which is why I am writing about it here. Basically, it is a must-see. A documentary released in 2021 and starring Jeremy Clarkson, who is a TV celebrity in England, Clarkson's Farm exposes the many hardships and rewards of owning and running a farm in the Cotswolds, a rural area in the country's northwest.

With his dry wit and expressive features, Clarkson is hysterically funny, even when he's just looking into the camera and sighing, which he does often. The supporting cast includes his girlfriend Lisa, who helps out on many of the projects including running the farm's store, and locals from the surrounding countryside hired to help turn a profit from the thousand acres. One of them is a 21-year-old named Kaleb who schools the 60-year-old Clarkson in how to do just about everything. My favorite is Gerald, an odd duck who handles the construction of stone walls and fences on the property. With his completely unintelligible country accent that neither the audience nor Clarkson can understand, still he is quite the talker and a very endearing character.

Besides being lovely to look at thanks to stunning drone photography, the show is also very educational. In Season One, which is as far as I have gotten so far -- there are three in all -- I learned how sheep procreate and give birth, how to get honey and wax from bees, which tractor attachments do what things, and how much the weather determines the success or failure of a farm operation.

Most nights my husband and I hurry through our dinner to get back to the Farm. It's a welcome respite from politics in the U.S.

Monday, June 17, 2024

Two Plus Two Is Five?

The dastardly, delusional and downright dirty Democrats must think that Republicans are as dumb as they are! In a new campaign ad hoping to convince Americans to re-elect a semi-demented, partially-Botoxed, lying, feeble old fool and his cackling, so far good-for-nothing partner in crime, they gleefully spread the idiotic message that Donald Trump is "guilty of all 34 felonies."

That's like saying if you stab someone 34 times and they die, you are guilty of 34 murders. Don't fall for it: It's all one felony, and for a crime nobody can name.


Thursday, June 13, 2024

Speaking in Code

Me, lately.
It's clear that the Facebook bots have strict rules they must follow. So to avoid getting this post banned, I will be writing in a sort of code.  I like to call it the Rhyming Code. Just think of a word that sounds like the word I use in italics, and you'll have no trouble understanding it.

More and more it seems we are living under Potsy rule. I learned this yesterday when one of my posts was removed immediately, with no explanation other than that it was "against community standards." The post in question had to do with a political candidate, a whack man by the name of Hormel Pest. I did not malign him in any way but simply quoted some of his statements relating his philosophy and how he would rule as President, an office he is seeking in the upcoming election. I also used a photo of him, grinning widely so we could see the huge gap between his two front teeth.

But the Facebook bots found that objectionable, I guess, since I posted it three times, each time editing it to be less offensive to anyone. Still, it was removed. Also, at a whack preparatory college in Philadelphia yesterday, Resident Widen said that any problems facing the whack community are directly traceable to unfairness and mistreatment by bite Americans.

Meanwhile, down in New York City,  pro-Lamas protesters boarded subways and yelled things like, "Till all the Booze!" They warned all the booze on the train to get out now! They shouted, "It's too bad Bitler isn't still around, he'd get rid of all the booze!" And yet they suffered no consequences for their heinous actions.

As one of the booze myself, I'm worried. What's next? 


Why Americans Are So Fat

A new supermarket opened here in Maine and my husband I went to check it out since we were in the neighborhood. While I had heard about Mark...