Saturday, March 23, 2019

Boo-Hoo for the Dems

CNN's Wolf Blitzer reading his suicide note, I mean the results of the Mueller report, on-air.
Judging from all the TV news shows last night, the long-awaited report on Trump's dastardly doings contains little proof of Russian collusion. In the coming days, the most fun you can have will be watching the loony left try to spin gold out of thin air.

Tuesday, March 19, 2019

Welcome to Nazi Germany, USA


With all the moaning and groaning about how Trump is Hitler a while back, it turns out there actually is a Hitler among us but it's not Trump. It's every last Democrat, led by Frau Pelosi, and they are a pretty scary bunch. I know a couple in their 70s in Alexandria, Virginia, who still think for themselves, but the rest of them, and certainly the younger ones, are in lock-step with their comrades, led by Pelosi, her Commandant, Rachel Maddow and those ditsy Congressional twins, Alexandria Whatever-Whatever (D., NY) and Hijab Girl (Rep. Ilhan Omar, D., MN).

Spurred on by The Counsel of Islamic-American Relations, the Dems are once again foaming at the mouth -- and when aren't they -- over Judge Jeanine Pirro, calling for FOX News to cancel her Saturday night TV talk show and kick her to the curb over her minor, totally accurate comment concerning Hijab Girl. This despite Hijab Girl loudly declaring and tweeting several anti-Semitic comments a few years ago and again quite recently. Still, Omar continues to be a darling of the left, free to run her mouth off in the halls of Congress as one of our lawmakers. WTF?

Meanwhile over at Harvard University, that former bastion of higher learning, students are in an uproar because law professor Ronald Sullivan (a black man and I thought they could do anything without censure) has joined the legal defense team of disgraced Hollywood producer Harvey Weinstein. The students at Harvard are TRIGGERED! They are FREAKING OUT! They are TRAUMATIZED! They simply cannot sleep at night knowing this man is among them. After all, he obviously condones rape! How could they possibly accept a diploma from a school that employs such a person? They want him gone! The worst part is that the school is "looking into it," and has "launched a review" of Mr. Sullivan's actions in order to "uphold our commitment to the well-being of our students." (Like the little darlings aren't getting drunk and date-raping girls at frat parties every weekend.)

I'm off to get my tattoo, something I never thought I'd do but it's becoming obvious I'll need it soon enough. It will be a wide band of yellow encircling my upper arm, with a giant star of David in black ink, so I'll be good to go when they come for me.

Monday, March 18, 2019

American Idol for President!


It's sweeping the country. Or rather, it's sweeping the media. Betomania, that is. The press adores Beto O'Rourke because of his outrageous behavior. What great stories they can weave around him: He skateboards onstage at his rallies! He jumps on bar tops like Mick Jagger! He's Kennedy-esque! He's on the cover of VANITY FAIR! He says he was "born to run," evoking Bruce Springsteen in a sneaky, subliminal way. He live-streams himself eating donuts, then getting his teeth cleaned at a dental appointment! A true renaissance man, the TV anchors barely have to do anything but sit there and let him act out and they've got their evening news clip ready to go.

They've even come up with the term "Betomania," just to make sure you know you are feeling manic about him. Some of them certainly are, like Chris Matthews who admitted to the world he "felt a thrill going up his leg" when Obama spoke. Well, with Beto, Chris is apparently going down his leg: "I always say the candidate wins who's got the sun in his face, who looks like sunny, optimistic, not the indoor bureaucrat sitting at some desk somewhere," Matthews said. "That's the image you want."

Why not simplify the whole process and choose our next president from among a group of contestants like they do on American Idol? Everyone would watch, and everyone would vote. Of course they'd have to ditch the Electoral College, but nobody likes that anyway. Imagine: Elizabeth Warren could do a Native American rain dance. Cory Booker might work up a Michael Jackson impersonation, no blackface needed. Beto is already doing Jagger, and he could kick it up a notch. Bernie Sanders could pull off a stand-up routine ala Jackie Mason; he's halfway there already every time he opens his mouth. Amy Klobuchar could do a sitcom skit wherein she berates her staff and makes them eat off of plastic hair combs.

Admit it: The possibilities are endless.

Friday, March 15, 2019

The Race to the Bottom

Beto O'Rourke, whose real name is Robert Francis but how sexy is that, says in a recent interview that landed him on the cover of VANITY FAIR, that trashy gossip whore dressed up like a classy dame, that when it comes to running for president, "I was born to do this." Born to do what, exactly?

Running for president utilizes all your time, most of your money and lots of other people's money, just so you can abandon your family for months at a time to fly around the country meeting strangers at diners, grange halls and state fairs, shaking hands and patting babies on the head, stuffing yourself with bad food, sleeping in hotels and making speeches that are identical to the speeches made by all the other (currently there are a dozen) folks like you doing the very same things.

And for what? To eventually win the prize and be treated like British Royalty, fly in a private plane, have a personal chef and never have to carry a wallet. To have celebrities and world leaders kiss your feet, have a host of servants at your beck and call, and feel like you are better than all the rest of us because the voters disliked you less than they disliked the other egomaniacs.

The whole POTUS thing makes me sick. Any list of who has held the office contains average folks made into larger-than-life action figures by the fawning media, even while they were engaging in shady behaviors like extra-marital affairs (Jefferson, Harding, Cleveland, FDR, JFK, LBJ, Clinton) and criminal activities (Nixon).

Is that what Beto was born for?

Thursday, March 14, 2019

Volunteering for Abuse

Since moving to Maine I have had little luck in finding gainful employment as a writer. This is primarily because I come from New York and have an "edge" that creeps into my work. Maine editors do not value an "edge." I have been told as much by at least five of them who liked my writing but found it, how shall I say, a bit too strident. Still, I'd rather be an unemployed writer with an edge than a smoothed out one with a paltry paycheck, especially since my husband smooths out his New York edge for much bigger bucks and supports me with his salary. So, in order to avoid feeling like a complete slug who gives nothing back to society, I have tried, many times, to contribute something through volunteering.

I am now an expert on volunteering and can safely say that at least here in the greater Portland area, there are no opportunities for personal growth through volunteering. There are only opportunities for working at unimportant or menial tasks for no pay and with little if any reward, except if you do it long enough they eventually take you out for a big lunch and give you the chance to be named "Volunteer of the Year."

Most recently I dipped my toe into the Portland Ronald McDonald House, where families of sick kids who are in the hospital get to stay for free, meals included. Also included is maid service, which is where the volunteers come in.

I got to change sheets, do laundry, clean bathrooms, empty dishwashers, empty old food from the fridge, sweep up and vacuum, water plants, wash down kitchen counters and tidy up the dining tables, all in the name of "volunteerism." I never interacted with any parents of any sick kids, or for that matter anyone else at all. At the end of my three-hour shift I just walked out. There was no need to say goodbye.

Yesterday I walked out for good. If I'm going to be a cleaning lady, I'd like to get paid. And if I'm going to be a volunteer, I'd like at least a warm feeling of "I mattered" to wash over me afterwards. Since neither of those things happened, I figure I add more to the world by making art. Shown here is my latest.



Wednesday, March 13, 2019

Wake Up, Young Americans!

Hey kids, it's time to wake up: The so-called "American Dream" is often a nightmare. This fact has been crystallized by the recent unveiling of a huge scam that has allowed the offspring of the rich and famous to attend many highly regarded colleges and universities despite the fact that they are a bunch of manicured, pedigreed dummies. So what does that make the rest of you?

Although I dutifully did as my parents wished and went to college, I have long believed that the push for "higher education" is pretty much a load of crap. Let's face it: Teaching is an industry wherein many, many people earn a living, so of course it's touted to be one of life's necessities. Yet Steve Jobs, Mark Zuckerberg, Bill Gates, and many other wildly successful thinkers, movers and shakers who are now millionaires or billionaires decided it was a total waste of their time, often after just one semester. Still all the little people are constantly told that only by going to college can they do well in life. Four, five or six years later they finally emerge, saddled with a burdensome debt that will only make the rest of life worse.

Call me cynical, but facts don't lie: Among the Class of 2018, 69% of college students graduated with an average debt of almost $36,000. Of those student loans, 11.5% are 90 days or more delinquent, or are in default. Some debtors choose to take out new loans to pay off their student loans. It's gotta be tough to remember what you learned about Shakespeare or Plato's Cave or calculus or the Holy Roman Empire while you're busy flipping burgers trying to scrounge up $350 a month to send to the bank.

Tuesday, March 12, 2019

To Go or Not To Go

As if we all don't have enough to worry about when we're getting ready to leave town, including what to pack in case it rains or is really hot or really cold and who's watching the pets, now we'll have to start checking what make and model of airplane we're booked on to make sure it's not the Boeing Deathstar. And what if it is? It's either cancel the trip or risk your life hoping for a Florida tan.

As many people have heard, one particular model (737 MAX) made by the huge aircraft manufacturer has crashed two times in the last five months, killing all aboard. Several nations have decided to take it out of service until a determination can be made about what's wrong. And Britain has banned it from even flying over the country. But here in the US, all three airlines that fly the big bad boy -- United, American and Southwest-- plan to keep flying it. What does that tell us about the airline industry? Nothing good.

Boo-Hoo for the Dems

CNN's Wolf Blitzer reading his suicide note, I mean the results of the Mueller report, on-air. Judging from all the TV news shows l...