Some Things Are Built To Last

Amy's spirit lives on in our food processor!

Next month my husband and I will celebrate our 40th anniversary. Joining us will be our Braun food processor, which we received as a wedding gift. That might not seem worth mentioning, but believe me it's remarkable, since over the 40 years of our marriage we have had to replace our washing machine four times, our dryer five times, two microwaves, a couple of stoves, a furnace, two refrigerators, perhaps a dozen electric coffee pots, several toasters, a toaster oven and a dishwasher.

When we called a repairman for our dryer a few years ago, he bluntly said it was not fixable, adding that, "These days appliances are built to last between six and eight years." When the fan in our built-in microwave stopped working, we learned that they don't make that part anymore, forcing us to install a whole new unit.

So you see, our Braun food processor is a champ. It has gotten constant use bordering on abuse, considering the number of cookies, cakes, pies, soups and stews it has been called upon for chopping, grinding, pureeing and mashing for 39 Thanksgivings and Passovers, countless birthdays and too-many-to-count platters of guacamole, hummus, eggplant salad and spinach dip with nary a break in the action.

Sadly, our dear friend Amy who gave us the food processor died two years ago, but her generous gift is still going strong. Kudos to Braun: those Germans certainly know how to do things right, even when they're doing something terribly wrong.

The Truth About Mohs Surgery

 "Oh, it's nothing," they all said. "They just scrape a tiny bit of tissue and then look at it under a microscope, you barely feel it," they all said. "Then they scrape a little more, until they get it all. It's no big deal."

Wrong. Sometimes it is a big deal. Like in my case, where the surgeon must have used a melon baller to eradicate the basal carcinoma cells from the bridge of my nose. 

That was yesterday. Today, with my gradually blackening right eye half-shut and a giant bandage covering most of my nose, I look like I was in the ring with Mike Tyson and guess who won. And yes, it hurts.

Just sayin'.

Jew Hatred Is Unfounded

I have been impacted by crime eight times. The incidents are listed below. 

1. I was kidnapped at the age of four (by a white woman).

2. I was mugged by four young (black) men in a supermarket parking lot while making a call inside a pay phone cubicle. They roughed me up and stole my money, about $19.00.

3. My car was stolen by, according to several witnesses, a (black) man.

4. A (black) teenager attempted to enter my apartment at night from the fire escape but ran off when the police, who I summoned, arrived. 

5. A close friend and his wife were murdered inside their home by two (black) men in a robbery gone wrong.

6. My high-school aged son was beaten by a group of (Hispanic) youths and had to be hospitalized.

7. While shopping in Macy's during a trip to NYC, the strap of my shoulder bag was cut with scissors by an older black lady (according to the store detectives who cited her as part of a shoplifting ring they had been following for years), leaving me stranded with nothing. 

8. A pregnant friend and her husband were terrorized inside their ground-floor apartment by two young (black) men who entered through an open window. She was raped and he was tied up and forced to watch.

None of these crimes were committed by Jews. Yet Jews, who have contributed so much to the world in the areas of science, literature, business, medicine, technology and the arts, are now the objects of hatred in the world, scorned and mistreated and even hurt or killed, while black people are treated as objects of pity, deserving of money for their ancestors' past mistreatment, and given government handouts of food, housing, daycare and rent reductions. 

Can you name a time a Jew hurt you? And when was the last time you had a bagel? (Invented by Jews.)

The Ultimate Win-Win

I have trouble believing that every single doctor's office is experiencing a higher than usual call volume, even at the exact moment they open at eight in the morning. And that every one of them has just changed their menu, so you have to listen carefully. And that every one of them considers your call very important. And that all of their staff are busy helping other callers. I just don't buy any of it.

Due to an unfortunate series of events, I have been hearing that shit a lot lately, followed by weird music for long periods of being on hold. It's made me pretty sour on the entire medical profession. Growing up, I saw doctors as gods, and now I see them as devils. Who has changed -- them or me?

Doctors, lawyers, and even dentists don't seem to have our best interests front and center. Last week I had a cavity filled for $350 and afterwards the dentist said that if that tooth started to hurt it likely would have to be pulled, at an even higher price no doubt. So why fill it? 

IMO, the only people you can trust to actually do their best for you are personal trainers. They succeed when you succeed, so naturally they want you to. It's the ultimate win-win. 

AOL: The New Kama Sutra?

I have long wondered just what is missing from society these days. Being a front-edge Baby Boomer, of course I am now old enough to have seen it all. But still I'm surprised almost daily by the depravity all around that is apparently acceptable to the younger generations.

I've almost gotten over the wearing of shorts and flip-flops to the theater. I'm no longer amazed at seeing people wearing pajamas and bedroom slippers in supermarkets and on airplanes. And general personal grooming seems very unimportant circa 2026, at least here in Maine. Still, I can be shocked, and this morning was one of those times.

Logging onto AOL to check my email, along with the usual meaningless schlock stories was an article about "a new way" to have oral sex with your partner, detailing an advanced approach to the traditional "69" position. I didn't click since I've read the Kama Sutra and I doubt A.I. can top that, but the promo promised detailed instructions and illustrations. (How nice for the children.)

Then it hit me: What's missing these days is dignity. There's no trace of it anywhere, certainly not in the Super Bowl half-time spectacles where crotch-grabbing and ass-thrusting are de rigueur. Or at the Emmy or Oscar award shows, where showing as much skin while still technically clothed has risen to an art. If someone claims to be offended, they are instantly mocked and labeled a "Karen" -- or worse. 

For those young people who may be reading this who are unfamiliar with the very word, here's what it means:

dignity /dĭg′nĭ-tē/ noun

The quality or state of being worthy of esteem or respect. 

Inherent nobility and worth.  

Poise and self-respect. 

The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, 5th Edition 

A.I. Stands for Actually Idiotic

Here's how dumb the Internet is. And by "Internet" I mean whoever or whatever makes things happen to your Facebook page or your email stream -- I certainly have no idea. All I know is that if technology is supposedly going to outsmart humans, it's got a long way to go.

For example: I recently purchased a pair of bedroom slippers I saw in a Facebook ad. Since that day I have received roughly ten ads per day for strikingly similar bedroom slippers. Now, having only two feet, why would I want any more of those? It makes more sense that my name would be crossed off the list for bedroom slippers. That's what a human being in charge of such things would do.

So I'm not worried about A.I. bringing about mankind's destruction. Rather, I think it's the other way around, and I hope it happens quick.

A Royal Pain In The Ass

The King and Queen, all ready for Halloween

I did not get up in the middle of the night all those years ago to watch Prince Charles marry Princess Diana like all my gay friends did, including my boss at the time who stayed home the next day because he was exhausted. I'll admit that Diana's car crash was pretty exciting, and then Charles marrying Camilla caught my attention, mostly because all of England hated her but he married her anyway. But those days are gone and now it's just boring sitcom crap, day after annoying day. 

England's Royal Family has never interested me, even when I spent two weeks over there last year. I had a great time but I did not visit royal palaces or see any changing of any guards. So naturally I am getting really tired of all the stories online about Princes Harry and William, one of whom is no longer a prince, and Kate Middleton and Meghan and their little ones like Lisbeth and little George, all of them dressed up in their silly outfits for special occasions. 

Yet for reasons unknown to me, editors and publishers think Americans are fascinated by what Fergie is up to these days or if Prince Andrew -- again, not a prince anymore -- really is a pederast who hung out on Epstein Island. Meghan Markel (or is it Markle) is in our faces all the time, maybe because she is part black and so that makes her story more compelling, what with its racist overtones.

Well guess what. None of it is interesting, at least not to normal Americans who have so many other meaningless celebrities to dote on, like Taylor Swift and Travis and the Kardashian crew and plenty more I've never heard of. I say let's keep all the news about the Royals across the pond. Who's with me?

Okay, So Maybe Trump Is Nuts

Secretary of State Marco Rubio

I am a Republican because I am not a fool. That being said, I can clearly see that President Trump is slowly sliding off his rocker. His whole re-naming of things is certifiable. Lake America? Oh, please. He needs some sort of therapy, be it shock, talk or pharmaceutical, and quick.

But I remain loyal to the party because of its beneficial policies that Marco Rubio, Mike Johnson, Ted Cruz and Josh Hawley articulate so well, whereas Democrats AOC, Bernie Sanders, Ilhan Omar, Elizabeth Warren, Kamala Harris and Gavin Newsom are total nut-jobs endorsing ridiculous beliefs. (For example, men can have babies, free Palestine, Socialism is great.)

So while The Donald continues to tweet nonsense and slap his name on things, I will keep my eye on the future when President Rubio brings back sanity to a united America.

A.I. Is Coming For You

From the minute I first heard about A.I., which stands for Artificial Intelligence, I was worried. How could that be something good? The very word "artificial" is a negative, meaning something that is fake, imitation or a sham. So from the get-go I've been a non-supporter.

Sadly, my husband loves A.I. His best friends are Grok, Gemini and ChatGPT. He consults with them constantly and takes their words as gospel. When I tell Mitch he's part of the problem, he checks to see if Grok agrees. Apparently it's too late for him -- he's hooked.

Now, finally, our leaders of government and industry are worried. Warnings are everywhere -- on TV, in newspapers, online -- about how A.I. could ruin mankind in as little as ten years. Companies who produce the wicked stuff are being implored to slow things down in order to avert certain disaster. Meanwhile, countries including China and Russia are going full steam ahead, and according to President Trump the US must beat them at this game! Not sure what "beating them" entails, but it can't be good.

It's funny how humans keep inventing things to bring about their own downfall. Excuse me while I go chop some vegetables on my plastic cutting board, thus ingesting little bits of plastic that will ultimately kill me far sooner than my eventual A.I. robot-ordered annihilation.

Orphaned Elephants

I like to give money to worthy causes. My favorites are those having to do with the health of children, so I donate to various children's hospitals and disease research programs. I am also partial to animals, so some of my money is earmarked for the ASPCA and a particular cat sanctuary in Hawaii.

Veterans of war don't get my money since I am a pacifist. Besides,  what did they expect would go on when they went to a foreign country bent on killing total strangers for wearing different uniforms? Parties every night and brunch on Sunday? 

I also don't fix children who need that euphemistic "smile surgery." I agree it's terrible that they are born with their upper lip half-gone, and I hope other people help them, but I'm not going to. Sue me.

I also will reject the plea for aid I got in the mail today to support orphaned elephants. While I know that baby elephants are very adorable and if they lose their mommies that's sad, especially since they never forget, but still, that's a bridge too far. What about all the orphaned humans? There are plenty of them and yet I've never received a plea to help them out. Surely they must need things too. 

So, for me it's a "No" to the elephants and a "Yes" to the kitties. You can see what they're up to at lanaicatsanctuary.org.

What's That Third Sex Called?

Okay, so there are males, females and ... what else? What should we call them? Somebody should come up with a word for it.

This morning at a doctor's office I had a conversation with a nurse about an upcoming medical procedure. The person was either a man who had changed into a woman or a woman who had changed into a man, I couldn't tell. 

I know it's not supposed to matter and people are people and blah, blah, blah, unless of course we are about to have sex with them, but still it's disturbing and more than a little distracting. I'm pretty sure I missed some important instructions while I was busy trying to figure out if it was a he or a she. Either way, their final outcome was not good since I noticed.

So what can we call them? Shemales? That might work. Anyway, I suppose over time we will all just take it for granted that we have three sexes here on Earth. Until then, I remain puzzled.