The Worst Drug Of All

The common expression, "There are two kinds of people in the world," is actually false. In reality there are three kinds, and it's indisputable. First there is the person who spends a considerable amount of their precious allotted time alive creating videos they believe to be clever or that feature their imagined talent and will eventually earn them fame and fortune, editing them and then posting them online, and then spends even more time watching the number of clicks and comments they engender. 

The second kind doesn't create any videos, and in fact scoffs at most of them, while spending countless hours watching them, commenting on them and sharing them with their friends. It's hard to know which group is worse for mankind's evolution, which is clearly on the wane intellectually and physically.

The third kind does neither. This is a rare bird indeed, and I have met only one of them so far in my life. She is a nurse who never looks at the Internet. Instead she spends her time actually living, doing things, helping her patients and her family, and being a thoughtful and committed friend. 

I wish I could be more like her but alas, I am in the group that watches the shit that floods the Internet, shaking my head in disbelief and occasionally forwarding a video to a friend or family member. This behavior exacerbates my self-hatred, leading to gross amounts of overeating, ultimately feeling sick and depressed, and thus eating more and watching more videos.

I'm not proud of it, believe me. I am confessing this behavior with the hope that my words might inspire someone to reject engaging in the first two groups and join my friend Teresa R. in hers. She might just save our species from extinction.