Life As Mobius Strip

Illustration by Scott DuBar

I went to Haiti and nothing happened. I was not changed. I was not tapped on the shoulder. I do not want to dedicate the rest of my life to helping the starving children. This is due, in part, to the fact that I did not meet or see any starving children while I was there. If I had I might feel differently, but as things stand I might not even want to go back there. Consequently I am once again facing the dilemma of how to best use the rest of my life. So far I have volunteered for too many organizations to count here in the United States, and I have never once felt that my efforts were necessary. All too often, volunteer programs exist to help the people who are doing the volunteering feel valued rather than helping anyone else.

The good news is that earlier today I read in a magazine--admittedly the lowest form of reading but still we do have them lying about following a fundraising effort on the part of some local high-school students last year--that the number one purpose of life is to enjoy it. The bad news is that to enjoy it, some people need to feel as if they are  fulfilling a purpose other than mere self-gratification. I am one of those.

Bummer.