Tomorrow is Mother's Day. Many people call it "the Hallmark holiday," believing it was started by
that corporation just to sell greeting cards and related ephemera. I too thought that, but a little research revealed I was
wrong. In fact, a West Virginia woman named Anna Marie Jarvis was the creator of Mother's
Day. She first celebrated it herself in 1907 to honor her own mother, and by 1914 it was a
national holiday. Jarvis never married and had no children herself.
It is fitting that Hooters, the restaurant chain that became famous for employing large-breasted waitresses in tight t-shirts, will be serving free entrees--worth up to $10, so feed Mom a little snack beforehand--to all mothers tomorrow. As usual, the fathers can gawk at the staff for free.
In each year between 1976 and 2007, an average of 113 offenders were arrested for killing their mothers. Last week there was one such murder in Falmouth, Maine, not far from where we live. A 46-year-old man shot his mother by firing a single bullet into the back of her head. He had been living with his parents since his divorce six years ago.
Actress Katherine Hepburn is quoted as saying, "I would have made a terrible parent. The first time my child didn't do what I wanted, I'd kill him.”
Of all the misguided attempts at honoring Mom, the worst has got to be Shari's Berries, wherein supersized strawberries, by themselves quite healthy, are covered with a grotesque mixture of lard and pretend-chocolate and shipped to her door.
By 1920, Anna Jarvis had become disillusioned by how commercial Mother's Day had become, saying, "A printed card means nothing except that you are too lazy to write to the woman who has done more for you than anyone in the world." (Personally, I am hoping for a text.)
It is fitting that Hooters, the restaurant chain that became famous for employing large-breasted waitresses in tight t-shirts, will be serving free entrees--worth up to $10, so feed Mom a little snack beforehand--to all mothers tomorrow. As usual, the fathers can gawk at the staff for free.
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| Fun fact: Shari's "chocolate" berries contain no cocoa. |
In each year between 1976 and 2007, an average of 113 offenders were arrested for killing their mothers. Last week there was one such murder in Falmouth, Maine, not far from where we live. A 46-year-old man shot his mother by firing a single bullet into the back of her head. He had been living with his parents since his divorce six years ago.
Actress Katherine Hepburn is quoted as saying, "I would have made a terrible parent. The first time my child didn't do what I wanted, I'd kill him.”
Of all the misguided attempts at honoring Mom, the worst has got to be Shari's Berries, wherein supersized strawberries, by themselves quite healthy, are covered with a grotesque mixture of lard and pretend-chocolate and shipped to her door.
By 1920, Anna Jarvis had become disillusioned by how commercial Mother's Day had become, saying, "A printed card means nothing except that you are too lazy to write to the woman who has done more for you than anyone in the world." (Personally, I am hoping for a text.)
i promise to text happy mothers day to you tomorrow even though you are not my mother. That should do it. At least it isn't "printed"
ReplyDeletedid you get that "lanyard" poem I sent to you?
ReplyDelete