Trans-Republican Guilt

I never knew that using a plastic straw in my kitchen in Maine was killing dolphins somewhere in the Atlantic Ocean until my very woke ex-friend Mary shrieked in horror when I offered her one. (A straw, not a dolphin.) Similarly, I'm in shock since learning that yesterday's deadly shooting in a Nashville elementary school  was partly my fault. 

It seems, according to most of the talking and writing heads we call "media" in this country, that those damn Republicans have refused to ban enough guns to prevent people from shooting them at strangers. Since I identify as a Republican, and who could blame me what with Joe Biden and Kamala Harris at the top of the Democratic Party, I guess I'm partly to blame, even though I don't own a gun, have never even held a gun, and don't believe in war.

Also, since the shooter was gender-confused, a.k.a transgender, he/she supposedly felt disenfranchised! He/she wasn't made to feel loved and accepted by society as a whole, inciting her/him to legally purchase seven guns and carry out an elaborate plan to annihilate children. Since I am a member of society I'm partly guilty, especially since I don't buy the whole pronoun thing, reject outright the use of "they" when referring to just one person, and still believe that men cannot give birth and women don't have penises.

So, I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt anyone.