Earlier today, after working out for an hour with my personal trainer at the CrossFit gym, I stopped off to pick up lunch at a local deli. After placing my order for a turkey-on-spinach-wrap with shredded lettuce and a few tomatoes, I waited and watched the other patrons. One of them was a big fat girl of about 25 years and 200 pounds who grabbed the following items for her lunch: a large chocolate milk, a large Coke, a large bag of potato chips and two slices of pepperoni pizza. I surprised myself by not being appalled but by being jealous: I wanted her lunch, yet there was no way I could ever order such things.
I tried to imagine what it would be like to eat with abandon, anything I wanted. I couldn't even imagine it; that's how screwed up I am. Even during this pandemic, when people are throwing caution to the wind, I'm still counting calories. (Thanks, Mom.) Arriving home in a sour mood, I determined to do some caution-throwing myself. The best I came up with was a bowl of All-Bran with 1% milk, a handful of raspberries and a lorazepam chaser. Still hungry (or sad), I sucked down a dropper-full of CBD tincture.
It's a wonder I'm not thinner. Or happier.
No comments:
Post a Comment