Why I Have High Blood Pressure

My doc says it's not salty foods, it's anxiety. He says to relax. I try. But then things make me nuts, like the phone conversation I had at 9 AM this morning when I called the hair salon in search of a product. I report it to you here verbatim:

"Good morning, Hair Gallery, how may I help you?"

"Yes, hi, good morning. I was wondering if you have any Moroccan Oil in stock, you know the stuff with the blue label and the big red M? I need the oil, the small size."
"We carry a full line of their products, what exactly are you looking for?"
"Oh, I thought I said...the oil. The small one, because I'm flying tomorrow and..."
"Ma'am, Moroccan Oil is the name of the product line."
"Yes, that's because they make that great oil, which is what I want, and I need the small size because I am flying to Texas tomorrow and my hair will frizz uncontrollably, and you know they don't let you through security with more than three ounces of liquid so..."
"Yes, fine, I see we do have it in both the large 4 oz. size as well as the smaller size. Which size do you need?"

Which for some reason reminded me of that old joke: If we had ham, we could have ham and cheese sandwiches...if we had cheese.