All Trumped Up

Something bad has happened to the country, and I think Bill Clinton did it. Seriously. I know he's a nice enough gent these days, and I don't even despise him anymore, but still, I hold him utterly responsible for the following hideous fact: Donald Trump is going to run for president in 2012. Worse yet, he may win! Back when Bill blew his saxophone on TV, and then later was blown himself by Monica Lewinsky, the office of the president lost some of its, shall we say, luster, leading anybody and everybody to think they can do the job.

Imagine The Donald, with his hair and his trophy wife and his trophy ex-wife and his trophy daughter, in the White House. As I like to say in these situations, oy vay.  But what is the presidency these days, anyway? I have long believed that we should do away with the office entirely and let the Cabinet and Congress continue doing what they do, which is all the work. The president--along with the missus and the kids--seems to serve as a human action figure, someone for the little people to look up to. Who needs it?

Abolishing the office of president could result in a pretty penny for the American people; it might even help reduce our deficit. Take the luxury airplanes, the White House and Camp David and put them to good use. Turn the White House into a homeless shelter--it's already right there in downtown D.C., with potential occupants ranting and raving just across the street in Lafayette Square. Camp David would make a great summer camp for urban kids who would never get out of the ghetto otherwise. As for that other stuff--Air Force One and decoy Air Force One and the third one they use to transport the president's bulletproof limo, and the bulletproof limo itself---just melt those babies down and make lots of other stuff out of them.

I'm betting that without all the perks, The Donald wouldn't even want to run.