You Might Be A Felon Too!

We are both Geminis born in New York City just nine days apart, but there's an important difference between me and President Donald J. Trump: He is a convicted felon and I am just a felon. Hey, who knows-- you might be one too. In fact, I'm betting you are. An article in today's Wall Street Journal describes some of the many ordinary paths leading to the dubious title. So far I've been down two of them that I know about.

First off, I am guilty of felony drug diversion for borrowing a prescription drug from somebody else. It happened a long time ago when I was flying from DC to Paris with my old friend Linda L. The plane hit turbulence and I freaked out. Fortunately Linda was packing Valium and I gladly sucked one down. (The statute of limitations would certainly apply here, at least in the old days before the justice system went to hell.)

I also might be guilty of tax fraud by possibly overestimating the value of my annual clothing donations to Goodwill. I mean come on, who knows what that stuff is really worth by the time I'm done with it?

Thus far I have not been indicted. But if Fat Alvin Bragg happens to stumble upon this blog, who knows. Please Alvin, no jail time -- I look really bad in orange. House arrest I can handle, in fact I've been in it for years and it's not bad at all.