The Rise of the Losers

Rachel Levine

These days it's great to be a man in America, and especially if you're a loser. Turns out that male losers can morph into winners in our society. Taking it from the top, our current president Joe Biden graduated 76th in a class of 85 students in law school. Not only that, but he lied about it for years, saying while campaigning for the Senate that he finished in the top half of his class. What a total loser! But no more; now he's a winner, with his own private airplane, tons of money and lots of personal bodyguards! 

Lia Thomas

Average or even below average men who are losers at a particular sport can just pop some pills and declare themselves women, then compete with the ladies and beat them all because of their innate greater strength. Presto chango, suddenly they are winners! This just happened to swimmer Lia Thomas, a man pretending to be a woman at the University of Pennsylvania who became the first "transgender" athlete to win an NCAA Division 1 title in the Women's 500-yard Freestyle event last night. (She/he/it formerly swam on the men's team but was a loser.)

Perhaps the best loser to winner story is that of U.S. Assistant Secretary of Health Rachel Levine, who has just been honored by USA TODAY as one of America's "Women of the Year." This is quite something since Rachel is a man, as you can plainly see in the photograph at the the top of this post. Yes, we call them transgenders, and I don't know the details of what's inside his/her underwear, but I will say that the "transition" is a lot less convincing than my last Halloween costume when I went as a cat.