Modern Politics for Dinner

DeMillo's On the Water, a bad restaurant inside an old boat.

Last night my husband and I attended a fundraising dinner for a congressional candidate here in Maine. The man, running as a Republican, does not stand a chance against the incumbent millionaire Democrat who, although she sucks, will surely retain her title even after seven terms (14 years).

The cost of the dinner for two was $500. Yikes -- that's enough to feed a family of four for a month! Oh well, said Mitch, anything for the cause, adding that at that price the food will be super. But the food was not super. It was abysmal, as one could expect since the event was held at a huge, tourist-trap restaurant that is actually a giant boat, once a car ferry and now permanently anchored in the Portland Harbor (see photo). So naturally there were water views, which is really no big deal here in Maine since there's water everywhere. 

Served buffet-style, everything that should have been hot was cold and everything that should have been cold was room temperature. You could eat all you wanted of many high-fat choices including cheesy mashed potatoes, shrimp and cheesy grits, cheesy lobster rigatoni, chicken pieces smothered in Havarti cheese, limp broccoli swimming in butter and scallops downright drowned in cheese sauce. The salad option was a gigantic bowl of lettuce with a smaller bowl next to it of crumbled feta cheese and another of Mandarin orange sections. Dessert was a selection of tiny, cheesy cannolis, some with chocolate chips on top. And coffee, thank God. Despite the high price of entry to the event there was a cash bar with beer for $10 and liquor drinks costing more.

The candidate spoke for about half an hour and said absolutely nothing of value, injecting phrases like "We can do this!" and "Now is the time!" repeatedly. He urged all of us -- now officially his "team" -- to get out there and knock on doors. During the question-answer period I asked him a question which he did not answer, not even a little, alerting me to the fact that he would fit right in with most of the other politicians in Congress. (Too bad he won't get the chance.)

Driving home I chewed two Pepto-Bismol tablets and felt sorry for the guy, and for myself.