Tuesday, February 5, 2019

You Better Watch Your Thighs

These days people are just getting stupider and stupider. Fortunately I am already quite old so won't be around to witness the culmination of this stupidity, which will surely bring about the end of the human race. All I can do is watch in disbelief.

What troubles me is that my son, 31, is in the thick of it. First off, let me assure you that he is the least racist person you will ever meet, possibly the least racist person on Earth, and totally color blind. As a naturalist -- teaching classes in such things as matchless firestarting, urban foraging, drum and basket making, outdoor shelter building and cooking of wild edibles -- he has many fans. But of course, as does anyone, he also has many who don't dig his act. For want of any other offense, he has recently come under fire for the sin of "cultural appropriation," the latest bit of nonsense to come from the under-35 set.

What we see as cultural appreciation, those who see racism around every corner perceive as stealing. Hence, a white person with braided hair has stolen that style from Native Americans and is a bad person. Who knew? (Photo at right shows actress Patty McCormack in the 1956 horror movie, The Bad Seed. Not only did she murder people, but she wore braids!)

One vocal critic of the movement who is considered an "influencer" on Instagram (the latest non-job popular among millennials) has said that "braided hair, dark skin from tanning or make-up, full lips, and large thighs take attention and opportunities from black influencers by appropriating their aesthetic." She likens them to wearing blackface.

So all you fatties out there, or even just toned muscular gym rats, you better watch your thighs. Big ones are apparently for blacks only.

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