Bracing Myself for Old Age

Later today I am getting Invisalign braces. To say I am not looking forward to it is an understatement of mammoth proportions. For the next year to year-and-a half I will wear plastic covers over my teeth requiring me to A, not eat while they are in place and B, brush and floss my teeth after eating anything while they are out. Also, they will likely be uncomfortable and I must wear them while I sleep. Lastly, they cost a small fortune. (Modesty prevents me from saying how much, but my husband and I could go on a six-week grand European tour instead.)

So I was dismayed when I confessed my apprehension earlier today to my son, who is 31 and unfamiliar with how to deal with the aged, having never had grandparents. He said, "Why are you getting braces? Aren't you like 70 or something? And you're already married, so why does it matter how you look?"

My answers are as follows:
1. My teeth are moving crazily, making flossing in certain areas nearly impossible.
2. I could live another 20 years, and the situation will only worsen over time.
3. My current husband could die and then it would matter how I look if I wanted to snag another one.
4. Regardless of how I am seen by the rest of the world, it's me in the mirror each morning.

Kids!