Invasion of the Crash Dummies

I was going to write a post about the pending $20 million expenditure of Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg for the manufacture of female crash dummies that are expected to somehow decrease the deaths of women in car accidents -- and it's about time -- but I just don't have the heart since learning that President Biden has pledged $500 million to stop deforestation in Brazil. It seems like you wouldn't need any money at all to stop doing something, doesn't it? After all, not cutting down a tree costs nothing.

Anyway, it seems wrong that Brazil is getting so much of our taxes while grave need exists everywhere you look right here at home. And what about transgender crash dummies -- don't we care about the lives of people misgendered at birth? Also, all the crash dummies seem to be either pink or yellow while none are black or brown. This smacks of racism if you ask me. 

According to recent statistics, there is an average of 99 fatalities and 7,507 injuries daily from car accidents. Surely none of them are pink or yellow people. Well, maybe some. Still, I say go back to the drawing board and make this right. Crash dummies should represent all of us equally! (See illustration.) We could send Brazil a little less money to fund further research.