Fat People Can't Think Straight

I recently came across an Instagram post of a very fat woman posing in a skimpy bikini that barely covered anything. It was all hanging out, literally. Honestly, it was gross. To be more clear, she was gross. And the thing is, she wrote about how much she loved "her curves." That's what fat women call their excess flesh these days, as if that makes it better to be extremely overweight. And many other fat women posted comments saying they were jealous of her fabulous self-confidence and wished they could feel that way. It was like saying ugly is beautiful.

The thing about being morbidly obese is that once you've gotten that way, you can't think straight. How could you with bad foods clogging your insides and fogging your brain cells? If being"curvy" is your wish, just eat a lot of these regularly:

Twinkies, Ho-Hos, Devil Dogs, Snowballs

Coca-Cola and all the other sodas

Three Musketeers, Peeps, Tootsie Rolls, Twix, Kit-Kats, M&Ms, Snickers, Rolos, Butterfingers, Reese's Pieces and the all the other candy bars

Italian subs, sausage, pepperoni, frankfurters and cheeseburgers

Garlic bread, croissants, muffins, cupcakes, cookies, cheesecake, donuts

Potato chips, French fries, mashed potatoes

Deep fried calamari, shrimp, crabs

Ice cream sundaes, sodas, cakes and Blizzards

Pizza, ravioli, lasagna, pasta, pasta, pasta

Lattes, Frappuccinos and more of the same with different names

Cool Whip, Cheez Whiz, Marshmallow Fluff

No wonder fat people keep getting fatter.  To avoid that fate, eliminate these things from your diet and you will slowly regain consciousness. It's easy and it's free.