Easter to a Jew

I have to come clean about something that is very unpopular. I do not believe there was ever a Jesus. Well, maybe there was a guy named Jesus who walked around spouting advice, but I don't think he was the son of God since God is not human, so how could he have a human son? Is this some sort of spin on Rosemary's Baby?

I also have a really hard time believing that this guy named Jesus was killed on the cross, bleeding out from his palms and his feet, and then came back from being dead three days later. I'm sorry but I just cannot buy that.

Next thing you know, there are Easter baskets filled with that crinkly stuff that simulates nest material in birds nests only it's pink and blue and yellow, and chocolate Easter eggs and Cadbury Cream Easter eggs and ham dinners and hot cross buns. (Do they mean that cross?) And the bunnies, of course, are very important. In fact today my husband went to the local supermarket and a man dressed as a big bunny was outside greeting customers. And jelly beans, which I love, especially the black ones, but never eat because they're bad for you. 

There are Easter parades like the one that closed Fifth Avenue in New York City this morning, and Easter Bonnet festivals and last but probably least, Easter services in churches. And the strangest thing of all is that that guy named Jesus was a Jew! His Last Supper was a Passover seder. Yet Easter is not a Jewish holiday, so I never learned a thing about it.