Film Review: ARBITRAGE

Are Richard Gere's eyes shrinking?

If you avoid the candy counter and go straight to your seat, a night out at the movies can be a positive experience, even when it's a bad movie. In fact, in recent years I have found that the worse the film, the more fun it is. Also--and this is no small thing considering the cost at the box office these days-- if you choose carefully, many movies can be quite educational. Last night I learned a ton watching a new one called Arbitrage.

Even though it was a drama, the most serious thing about it was its title. Not being wise in the ways of high finance, "arbitrage" was a new word for me; I had to look it up, and still have my husband explain it to me. Even after seeing the movie I'm not 100% clear on what it means. That is quite a word, and a bold title choice for a film that hopes to wrangle in audiences given to utterances like "lol," "my bad," and "chill."

So right away, before it even started, I had learned something. I also learned that Susan Sarandon has had a facelift but looked better before, the aging Richard Gere is still handsome despite his eyes disappearing into his face, and it's never a good idea to drive when you are tired. Here are some other interesting things to watch for:

1. The protagonist suffers a terrible injury and is apparently bleeding internally, causing him intense facial grimacing and abdominal swelling. It's really, really, really painful at first, then the next day it still hurts him a lot and he still grimaces when nobody is looking but is simply too damn busy earning a living to seek medical care. By the third day it's totally gone and neither you nor he ever thinks about it again. Teachable moment: If you hurt yourself really bad, just ignore it.

2. The three-story crystal chandelier in the rich guy's house is a real scene-stealer. You'll know it when you see it, again and again and again. It truly sparkles, and you'll miss some key dialog lost in thought about how they clean that thing.

3. If you are into politics, you won't be disappointed. The only decent, trustworthy, honest and admirable person in this whole sordid tale of money and greed among horribly rich white folks (think Romney) is an African American from the 'hood (think Obama). There is also a sympathetic character of Hispanic heritage, but she's not around for very long.

4. Never trust a New York City cop! They do crazy things to catch their prey.

5. Even though billions and billions of dollars are at stake and hundreds of lives hang in the balance, all men really care about is getting laid.