Under the Influence

I just received an invitation on my Facebook page to something called Klout. It is an "app," which is short for application, because after all, few of us in today's busy world have the time to sound out the entire word. Supposedly, Klout "measures our influence on the social web" by assigning us a Klout Score on a scale of 1 to 100. I was informed that two of my friends and 1.7 million people already use it.

The funny thing is, the invitation came from a Facebook "friend" who has never before contacted me in any way, ever--no comments or "Likes" or phone calls or texts or notes or anything-- yet here is this "invitation" from him. (I guess he's trying to improve his own Klout score.) Here's what I think: I can barely influence myself, forget other people. I can't lose weight or stick with an exercise regime or get myself into my art studio every day. There are oily paint brushes soaking in turpentine in the garage that I do nothing about, and a bag full of clothes in the front hall I've been meaning to take to the thrift shop for like three weeks. Some days I don't floss. Is there an app for that?

Except when we're deciding where to go for dinner, influencing others has never been my thing. I used to try with my son when he was little, but I was supposed to, being his mother. That worked to a degree during his teen years, and I credit myself with his lack of tattoos and piercings today. Other than that, don't ask me what to do or think or wear or eat or read--what the heck do I know? As for who influences me, the list is short and includes mostly dead people, so I'm not getting much that's new. I am open to influencers, believe me, but I doubt they will come my way via Facebook. Or Klout.