Time Off for Bad Behavior

Growing up in New York, people like me were a dime a dozen. They still are. Funny, irreverent, sophisticated, sarcastic and skeptical are common words used to define New Yorkers. I embody those traits and exhibit them proudly and would not want to be otherwise.  However, my edgy personality does not play well in Maine, and thus my employment record since moving here is anything but stellar. I could not get hired to sell duck boots to tourists at L. L. Bean, could not snag a volunteer position teaching amateurs how to hold a paint brush at the Y and could not even land a freelance writing gig from Portland Magazine, which is admittedly a piece of trash but the only piece of trash around. My art gallery was a flop and while my consignment shop was not, who wants to spend their time selling used furniture to old ladies? (Not me.)

This might be a good time to read "War and Peace."