Blogging From Prison

I keep reading about young people who have become millionaires from doing nothing special yet rake in many thousands of followers seeking their words of wisdom on how to dress from a thrift store or 50 ways to use dirt. (FYI, they eat mud pies in Haiti, or at least they did when I was there in 2013, and that's about the best way to use dirt other than planting stuff in it that I know.)

Anyway, I have been writing this blog since 2007 and it's sometimes very funny and other times quite pithy and even has offered a few gangbuster recipes, yet it has few followers and earned me not one red cent. I would like to change that but don't know how to break into the world of virality, if that is such a word. So I'm brainstorming on how to make this blog catch fire. Pick your favorite idea:

1. Report all the ways that Kamala Harris is a fool, a dodo, a know-nothing parrot who was in the right place at the right time and is now poised to hold the highest office in the land. For example, I would delve into those giant pantsuits she wears that look like she got them at the Big 'n' Tall Shop. Why does she dress in those unflattering big suits? What's under those pantsuits anyway? I would name that blog, "What's Under Their Pantsuits?" (Second name under consideration: "Can This Get Me Arrested?")

2. Become an influencer on cooking everyday things that people in my generation can make in their sleep but clueless Gen-Zers who are busy getting piercings and tattoos can't. This morning I watched a 10-minute video on a "great recipe for a delicious, quick lunch." The heavily tattooed young woman showed how to make chicken salad. She dumped the chopped (canned of course) chicken breast into a bowl, adding a celery stalk cut with kitchen shears, pre-chopped red onion from a jar, then a literal ton of mayonnaise and sour cream, mixed it up, spread it onto bread and tada! (FYI, it's not new: One of the first American forms of chicken salad was served in 1863 in Wakefield, Rhode Island by Town Meats.) I would make my first post "An Easy Lunch for Your Toddler" and show them how to make a cucumber sandwich. (PM me for recipe.)

3. Investigate and write about how the Democrats conspired to kill Donald Trump about a month ago and nobody stopped them. And to this day, nobody in the state-controlled media is talking about the poor young man, now dead so he can't talk, who supposedly did it, even though it was really the CIA working with the DNC. That might work, although I might have to call it "Blogging From Prison."