Hollywood Meets Real Life in Butler, PA

You don't have to be someone given to conspiracy theories, or someone who is naturally suspicious, or even just an ordinary, run-of-the-mill skeptic to see clearly that the July 13th assassination attempt of Donald Trump was plotted, planned and carried out by a team of sophisticated individuals bent on his final and forever eradication from politics and consisted of members of the Secret Service, the FBI and the Democratic Party, except for the shooter who was just a hapless 20-year old with mental problems who likely thought he would survive and be protected.

I am an ordinary, run-of-the-mill skeptic, but the facts in this case read like an outtake from The Interview, that wild comedy starring James Franco and Seth Rogan who play two bumpkins hired to kill a world leader. I mean really: 

A lone man was spotted walking around the fairgrounds several hours ahead of Trump's rally, with a drone. 

The same man was spotted by members of the public, and pointed out, on a nearby rooftop 20 minutes before the rally, holding a rifle. 

There was nobody assigned to guarding that rooftop, which was only 150 yards away from the stage. 

Many people pointed the man out to local law enforcement and nothing was done. 

Nobody told the Secret Service, or the Secret Service knew and did nothing. 

Trump still was permitted to come out on stage at the appointed hour. 

The Secret Service turned down the offer of a drone because, hey, we don't need one here.

It's all detailed online for anyone to see, except for naming the boss of the operation who must be someone seeking to fundamentally change America. To further understand it, watch The Parallax View, a 1974  thriller about a political assassination done from the inside.

Can You Spot the Differences?

President Herbert Camacho

VP Kamala Harris

Answers:

1. Camacho has a mustache.

2. Harris is wearing a necklace.

Sticks and Stones

Yesterday I saw a clip showing Ana Navarro, one of the ladies of The View, that pack of female hyenas whose non-retractable claws are always on display, describe J.D. Vance, the Republican candidate for VP, as "Just Dumb Vance." Her colleagues and the hyena-filled audience laughed and applauded.

Here's just how dumb J.D. Vance is: A former corporate lawyer and current US Senator from Ohio, he served in the U.S. Marine Corps from 2003 to 2007 as a combat correspondent, with six months in Iraq. He then attended Ohio State University, graduating in 2009 and going on to Yale Law School, graduating in 2013. His 2016 bestselling memoir, Hillbilly Elegy, received considerable press attention and was adapted into a feature film in 2020. All of that by age 39!

A re-surfaced interview with Vance from three years ago was the trigger for Navarro's infantile insult. During it he referred to "childless cat ladies" as "miserable with their own lives so they want to make the rest of the country miserable too." He was referring specifically to Kamala Harris and Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. 

Back then nobody seemed to care, but in today's PC world people flipped out, most notably childless cat ladies. Today's Wall Street Journal carries an op-ed piece by a Democrat who chastises Vance, writing, "Americans don't like to be nudged, judged, hectored or disdained." Oh really? Consider the following statements from two notable Democrats:

In 2016, a campaigning Hillary Clinton said, "You could put half of Trump's supporters into what I call the basket of deplorables. They are irredeemable." 

Barack Obama in 2008, referring to people in small towns in the midwest, said: "They get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy toward people who aren't like them ...... as a way to explain their frustrations." 

And just this week the Biden/Harris team has initiated their own name-calling, saying Trump and Vance are "weird." Ouch, that hurts -- just ask entertainer "Weird Al" Jankovic, whose net worth in 2024 is $25 million. Anyway, when it comes to names I'd rather be called a Childless Cat Lady than an Irredeemable Deplorable. As for Weird -- well, that's my middle name.

It's National Chicken Wings Day!

Today has been deemed a "national holiday" although you probably never heard of it and since the banks and post offices aren't closed we can all go on living our lives, unlike Christmas when all you can do is go to church, a 7-11 or a Chinese restaurant, or Halloween when starting at four in the afternoon you have to answer your door constantly to dispense candy to kids dressed in polyester costumes from Walmart, or even worse, Walgreen's, and hardly anyone knows why anymore. 

Today is National Chicken Wings Day, which one celebrates by eating some. Not much of a holiday for vegetarians, or the for the poor chickens who had to die for the occasion. 

According to some, the holiday was born in 1977 in Buffalo, NY, with a proclamation by then-mayor Stan Makowski, one of many people believing Buffalo to be the birthplace of the recipe. 

According to other sources, the dish was invented in 1964 at the Anchor Bar, also in Buffalo, by Teressa Bellissimo, the bar's owner, going unheralded for 13 years. While Teressa and Stan duke it out over who first did what and when, historians say eating chicken wings is an ancient practice that originated in the Mediterranean region around the 5th century BC and prepared by people determined to make use of all parts of the chicken.

I'm going with the Mediterranean story since A, historians are usually very smart folks (although maybe not the ones studying chicken wings), and B, that Buffalo sauce is just too orange and tastes like radiator fluid. One thing I know for sure is that the best ones in the Portland area are available at Binga's Wingas, with several locations. But don't go today as it's likely to be crowded with drunken revelers smeared in orange sauce.

My Last Letter to An Editor

My letter to the editor at the Portland Press Herald which was printed at 4:00 this morning has thus far engendered 107 hate-filled and insulting responses. Of course it pertains to politics, more specifically Kamala Harris who I believe to be a silly fool who was in the right place at the right time, and in possession of the right skin color and reproductive organs to qualify her to serve as the Vice President under the equally silly Joe Biden. In fact, besides causing the deaths of 13 American soldiers in his poorly executed withdrawal from Afghanistan, Biden's appointment of Harris as his VP is likely to be the only thing history will remember about him.

Rather than sparking a reasoned debate, instead my Republican point of view incensed the crowd of liberals who read that newspaper. I only read a few of the comments since they were so childish and nasty, but I got the gist: Kamala is God's gift while Trump and I both suck.

I've had a nice run getting letters published dating back 36 years, with my missives printed more than a few times in the Press Herald as well as the Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post and the New York Times. But today's was my last. What's the point? People are dug in and nobody's minds will change. 

Hey, I can relate. Just because I live in New England now, I'm still a Yankees fan and always will be, to hell with the Boston Sox, Red or White I forget which.

Do Unto Others

Yesterday I met a woman roughly my age, albeit several years younger, who suffers from a disease that is slowly dismantling her body. After reading an online appeal from a community do-gooder explaining that this particular woman needs some company as her husband works and thus she is left alone much of the time with her diminishing ability for self-care, I volunteered to be her "visiting companion" for three hours one day every week. Literally, that's the least I can do. 

Despite the fact that I know it is a basic tenet of humanity that we should help those less fortunate, and that there but for the grace of God go I, and giving of yourself is the greatest gift of all, I'm dreading it because I know it will depress the hell out of me. But for what amounts to a mere 1/56th of a week I will be helping a stranger live her sad, shrunken life and hopefully inject it with some mirth. (I did make her laugh a couple of times at our initial meeting.) 

I ask myself: what else would I do with those three hours? Take care of my pitifully small needs by paying some bills, changing the cat litter, coloring my hair? Yes, I will come home after those three hours and weep for awhile. But I weep just watching the news -- possibly for a longer time -- and that's not helping anyone, including me.

Not All Mainers Are Dumb

Very, very, very dumb person.

Yesterday I wrote, in an offhand manner, that intelligence is not one of the attributes of a Mainer. This offended an anonymous reader who left a comment to complain. It caused me to reconsider my words since I don't like hurting the feelings of people close to me, and some very good friends of mine were born and raised here in Maine and are super-smart! Thus I apologize publicly to any reader who felt dissed by my statement. 

While this is not a complete denial of my original assessment, I'll soften it by saying that only some Mainers lack great intelligence and that none of my friends are in that category. However, all of the people who were part of the recent "Gays for Gaza" protest here are idiots, plain and simple. To be fair, possibly only some were Mainers.

Is Hamas Already Here?

 Hamas sympathizer (or member) defacing statue in our nation's capital yesterday. 

I'm not looking forward to Hamas running things. But maybe they already are. Why are all these pro-Palestine rallies and protests allowed in all of our cities? How can people be permitted to deface public property in Washington, DC and face no consequences? I understand we have no President, but isn't anyone in charge?

 

Gays for Gaza: A Joke for Our Times

I moved to Maine 15 years ago because of family circumstances beyond my control. I have stayed because it's still remote from the crime, gang warfare, traffic and crush of humanity that has overrun the big cities I frequented in my youth, like Baltimore, Oakland, San Francisco, Chicago and Manhattan. Plus it's very pretty, with a wild, natural beauty earning it the affectionate sobriquet, "America's Vacationland." 

But don't get me started on the people. While many Mainers possess admirable qualities, intellect is not among the top ten. They are excellent fishermen and make a great lobster roll. They are hearty, withstanding brutally cold winters with nary a complaint. They are excellent skiers and sailors and make a damn good Whoopie Pie, although I have never eaten one since they look gross.

But yesterday, while Bibi Netanyahu gave his impassioned speech to Congress in Washington, DC, a well-attended protest called "Gays for Gaza" took place in downtown Portland, a city which has embraced the weird, woke stance of being pro-Hamas and anti-Israel. Apparently the members of this group, happily gay and typically proud, are not up-to-speed on reality. For example, they surely don't know the following truths as reflected in responses online to the question, "How does Hamas treat gays?":

"Queers would be murdered by the people they support. It is like chickens supporting KFC. Palestinians and almost all Muslim countries are raging homophobic nazis. They will happily kill any and all gay people in any country they become a majority in." 

"Indeed, gay and transgender people—both in Gaza and the West Bank—face an extraordinary level of persecution, persecution that may result in a years-long prison sentence or even death."

"Make sure you have a generous life insurance policy for those you love to benefit from your “flying lesson” off of a tall building in Gaza or the West Bank. Alternatively, gays might be taken for a ride, towed by a motorcycle through the streets for the local population to spit and throw stones at."

So party on, gay Mainers. But be careful what you wish for.

The Manequin Queen

Ladies and Gentlemen (and others), we have entered a new era of Democratic tomfoolery, one which eclipses all the artifice and dishonesty of the past four years, wherein we are instructed to forget every criticism and witticism made at her expense and embrace Kamala Harris as a brilliant, articulate, and profound leader who shall shepherd us to that "shining city on a hill" promised so many years ago. 

Originally applied to the city of Boston by early 17th century Puritans, the phrase took on broader meaning among politicians as a synonym for exceptionalism after President Ronald Reagan used it in a 1976 address, deeming America as a beacon of hope for the whole world. 

All I have to say about that 48 years later is, "Ha!" To quote Donald Trump in his acceptance speech at the recent Republican National Convention, "Democrats would vote for a mannequin* or a dead man" if that's who the party nominated. While Biden was the latter, Kamala Harris is surely the former.

So get ready for her coronation, and try to keep a straight face. After all, if she wins she would be the first female president, not to mention female of color. There's at least one good thing about the whole tawdry affair: it must be killing Hillary.

* A dummy in the form of the human figure.

Kamala's California Dreamin'

"I believe in that old adage that 'as goes California, so goes the country.' " -- Kamala Harris

According to a survey by Consumer Affairs, California ranks as the Number 1 state people are moving from. The state faces three overlapping challenges: rising unemployment, growing fiscal strains and population outflows. All of these pinpoint California as a pocket of relative weakness in an otherwise robust American economy.

California has been in a state of chaos both politically and socially over the last 5 years. Said one recent visitor: "I thought California was going to be a picturesque west coast state, instead it’s a dumpster fire. Population is close to 40 million; you need to make over $120,000 annually to barely live comfortably. Forest fires, earthquakes, and landslides are the norm. Residents seem to care more about banning straws than people openly shitting in the streets of San Francisco and sharing needles. How do so many people like it here?"

In 2023, more than one of every three individuals in the United States experiencing homelessness was found in California. California accounted for half of all individuals counted in unsheltered locations.

California has a huge budget problem: 2024 marks the second consecutive year the nation's most populous state faces a multibillion-dollar shortfall. 

Sorry about your nightmare, Kamala, but please don't make it mine.

Every Cloud Has A Silver Lining

Politics is so much like high school, it's embarrassing. I finally understand why some people, like my brother Brian who is among the smartest people on the planet and certainly the funniest, choose to avoid it and do not vote. Am I brave enough to join them this year? It's looking that way.

Since yesterday's written announcement that he will not run again, Joe Biden has ascended from being seen as a calamitous albatross to Jesus-like status among the Democrats, who are all so relieved to be rid of him they can't contain their joy. 

Since then, a tsunami of accolades has inundated the Internet citing Joe's "transformative" presidency, possibly "the most transformative in all of history" according to some groveling pundits who just days ago begged him to disappear and never darken their doorway again.

"Word salad is defined as a jumble of extremely incoherent speech as sometimes observed in schizophrenia."

A similarly miraculous transformation has happened to Kamala Harris, who until yesterday and for the last four years has been the butt of jokes, the subject of memes and a true failure at her job. The only things she is really known for are an annoying cackle and her inscrutable "word salad" responses to any and all questions lobbed in her direction. Yet overnight, as the heir apparent to the Oval Office, she's morphed into a brilliant goddess: The first female to occupy that esteemed position, and Holy moly, she's black-ish! (Born to a Jamaican father and an Indian mother.) 

Oh well -- at least if Kamala wins there will finally be a Jew in the White House with First Husband Doug Emhoff hopefully imparting some wisdom over bagels and lox at breakfast. (There's the silver lining.)

10 Bad Things To Be

senile

fat

cancerous

selfish

destitute

mainstream

sheepish

ignorant

addicted

tacky

The Stupid Bleach Thing

Yesterday Joe Biden posted on X that Donald Trump told people to inject bleach into their bodies to cure Covid. This is a stupid myth that clueless people with no knowledge of facts have been repeating for the last four years. Here's the truth:

During an April 2020 media briefing, Trump asked members of the government's coronavirus task force to look into whether disinfectants could be injected inside people to treat COVID-19. But when a reporter asked in a follow-up question whether cleaning products like bleach and isopropyl alcohol would be injected into a person, the then-president said those products would be used for sterilizing an area, not for injections. 

At no point did Trump tell people they could or should inject bleach into their bodies.

America's Elder Abuse

Still hot.

ON a personal level, the worst thing about the current race for the presidency -- besides the fact that the whole world is watching as the hairline cracks in our society approach the point of complete rupture -- is that the two candidates who are close to my age are always referred to as "elderly" by members of the media, especially that horrid witch Joy Reid on MSNBC who basically said after the RNC Convention last night that both men are ready for the glue factory. That hurt my feelings. (I've always hated her.)

President Biden is 81 but sounds and moves like he's 100, plus he's demented so he doesn't count. (My favorite line in Trump's acceptance speech last night was when he said a "mannequin or a dead man" could be elected president! I wonder who he meant.) But Donald Trump is nine days younger than I am yet seems much older, which makes me feel like crap. Am I that old too?

I may be 78 but I don't look it or feel it, at least not most of the time. Okay, admittedly mornings start out slow, but as soon as that first cup of coffee hits I'm good to go. I'm pretty sure I could handle the responsibilities of the presidency, except for having to get dressed up every day and attend a lot of meetings and dinner parties, which I would hate. But mentally I'm fine, save for remembering what I had for breakfast and that's hardly a matter of consequence.

Comedians and younger Americans revel in verbal elder abuse, with old age being the only condition permitted to be mocked with abandon despite the onus of political correctness. That being the case, I wish Trump would lose weight and get in shape -- hey, get a personal trainer -- and stop making 78 look so 'effing bleak. Listen, Cher is my age exactly and her boyfriend is 40 years younger. Take that, Joy Reid.

I'm So Paranoid That.....

... I think the top level of the Secret Service was in on the assassination attempt on Donald Trump.

... I think the Democrats deliberately exposed Biden to Covid to get him out of the running.

... I think that both Trump and Biden will be dead before Election Day, and not from natural causes.

... I think Biden doesn't even have Covid and they just want him out of sight so he doesn't screw up again.

Why am I so paranoid? Because when I was 16, somebody shot JFK and nobody thought it was done by the guy they said did it. A second shooter? The grassy knoll! The CIA! And then the guy that supposedly shot him got killed two days later! This was dinnertime conversation at my house for months and months. It was around that time that I stopped trusting politicians and the media to tell the truth. For example:

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton's alleged sniper fire in Bosnia turned out to be young girls at the airport performing a greeting ceremony. 

Dick Blumenthal's favorite toy.

Bill Clinton actually did have sex with that woman, several times.

Al Gore did not invent the Internet.

Joe Biden was never at the top of his law school class. Not even close.

Former President George W. Bush is not an idiot. Not even close.

Sen. Richard Blumenthal never served in Vietnam, despite his claims about being "in a foxhole."

Also, who really killed Princess Diana? What's the true state of Kate Middleton's health? And where the heck is Melania Trump? Are they divorced? Where's Barron? Your guess is as good as mine.

Conspiracy Theories

Trump staged it all, he broke a blood capsule over his ear. The shooter was actually hired by the Secret Service. The 2020 election was rigged. Joe Biden is a puppet. The Democrats planned the attack on Trump. Sandy Hook was faked. Elvis is alive, Paul is dead. Hillary Clinton murdered Vince Foster. Al Gore invented the Internet. The government killed JFK. 9/11 was an inside job. We never landed on the moon. Michelle Obama is a tranny. Obama killed Joan Rivers. Vaccines cause autism. Contrails are poisons sprayed by the government.

Laugh all you want, but one or more of these is true.

Our Next Veep?

She's black, she's female and she's fat -- the perfect DEI hire! Except now she's fired.

A good ol' southern Democrat.

“I don’t condone violence but please get you some shooting lessons so you don’t miss next time.” 

So wrote Jacqueline Marsaw (see photo), field director for Mississippi’s Rep. Bennie Thompson, on Facebook after the attempt on Donald Trump's life that killed an innocent bystander and injured two others. To his credit, Mr. Thompson fired her considerable ass. 

With her sterling credentials and obvious command of the English language, perhaps Ms. Marsaw will be appointed VP if Biden dies and Kamala becomes president. Or maybe she could join the Secret Service, they love DEI.

Bullseye, Biden!

In his brief televised message to the public following yesterday's attempted assassination of Donald Trump, President Biden said, "There’s no place for this kind of violence in America. We must unite as one nation to condemn it."

Really, Joe? Yet just five days earlier Biden tweeted on X, "I have one job and that's to beat Donald Trump. I'm absolutely certain that I'm the best person to do that. So we're done talking about the debate, it's time to put Trump in a bullseye."

That tweet was immediately taken down after the shooting.

The Despicables

Average Indian citizen at home.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised that the filthy rich who squander their money, despite the millions of people on the planet who are hungry and homeless, aren't just the shameless Kardashians. 

Apparently this repulsive behavior can be found around the globe, most surprisingly right now in India, known to be a poor nation and yet where one billionaire couple (the Ambanis) have been celebrating the marriage of their 27-year-old son for the last seven months.

As part of the wedding celebration, some 1,200 guests -- including a couple of the above-cited Kardashians -- were treated to a 3-day European cruise before the big ceremony, estimated to cost $50,000 for each one of them. The floral arrangements for the wedding cost somewhere between $1 and 20 million, depending on who you ask. The whole wedding itself, going on as I write this, is estimated to cost $600 million.

I could go on but why bother. The point is, God is surely disgusted by this behavior and thus is sending us global warming, cancer and Joe Biden as the Democratic candidate for president. 

Biden's Baby Boy Press Conference

Saying Biden did better in his press conference last night, wherein he was told what to say via an earpiece, had the questions two weeks in advance to prepare his responses and only called on the list of pre-approved journalists is like saying Hitler only killed 3 million Jews, just a few thousand gays and hardly any Gypsies. 

Democrat Devotion

I am finally beginning to understand the Democrats. They truly follow their leaders, and anyone else in their tribe. I suppose undying dedication to a cause could be seen as a positive trait in some situations, but certainly not all. Take Nazi Germany, for example. 

This dawned on me just this morning during a heated text exchange with a former friend who upset me by calling Donald Trump's now-deceased ex-wife Ivana -- the mother of his three children who all turned out great BTW --  and current wife, the beautiful and gracious former First Lady Melania and mother of young Barron, "heinous immigrants!"

I was stunned by such a malicious description of those two lovely women and pressed my friend on it. Why would she say such a thing? Her answer: "I was just repeating what others have said."

Of course she's voting for Joe Biden. Like who wouldn't want an 81-year-old man suffering from Alzheimer's and Parkinson's running our country? But hey, toeing the party line is second nature to the Democrats.

Before It's Too Late

Picture it: Another 9/11 happens. Who do you want in charge of hunting down and rooting out the terrorists responsible?

Okay, Democrats, this is getting serious. I know you all hate Trump, for reasons that escape me, but try to get a grip on yourselves. Do you really want Joe Biden to be the one making decisions that can make your life a living hell? Oh right, he already has. All those illegal immigrants flooding over our borders and infiltrating our cities, committing crimes like robbery, rape and murder, are here at Joe's invitation. And he even wants them to vote in our elections! That's some crazy shit.

Picture it: Another 9/11 happens. Who do you want in charge of hunting down and rooting out the terrorists responsible? Can you even imagine Joe Biden tackling such a thing?

It's painfully clear to everyone, even the biased bottom feeders at CNN and MSNBC, that Joe Biden is slowly losing important components of his mind. Do you really want him to be the one to push that famous nuclear button? To declare war on our enemies? To make even more enemies? To enact laws like forgiving student loans for those deadbeat college grads that you now have to pay back from your measly salary? I'll help you out: the answer is "No."

So Trump has weird hair. Yes, he's pudgy and out of shape and he over-tans. Get over it! Focus on the good things: He's very, very smart, he's experienced in the job, he solves problems, he's quite funny if you have a sense of humor to understand him, and miracle of miracles, he is still willing to do it. I say go with that guy before it's too late and we're all carted off to work camps when Hamas and Hezbollah take us over.

Biden's Willing Executioners

Today's post title was inspired by a 1996 book entitled "Hitler's Willing Executioners" by Daniel Goldhagen. The author makes the case that Hitler did not act alone but was aided and abetted by ordinary German citizens and the entire German military establishment under his rule. Certainly Adolf was not working in the showers, turning on the gas, or driving the trains that carried the Jews to the various death camps. To pull off such an undertaking he needed a lot of help!

Susan Rice and Joe Biden, showing us how it is.

In much the same way, Joe Biden is not alone in the grand deception that he is physically capable and cogent enough to be running our country, which coincidentally is losing its reputation as the most powerful and most respected nation in the world. To quote Hillary Clinton, and who ever thought I would  do that with a straight face, "It takes a village!" Of course she was talking about raising children, and she was right. But it applies as well to running the enterprise known as Joe Biden, a shell of a man who, without instructions from his wife and his convicted felon son, would hardly be able to shuffle out of the White House residence in street clothes and hard shoes, let alone know where to go and what to say.

For that he needs handlers like Susan Rice, Valerie Jarrett, Kamala Harris and a team of speechwriters to prop him up, concealing his true condition from the public in order to keep their cushy jobs, or worse -- face retribution should they dare to leak the truth. The very worst of these is his Press Secretary, Karine something something -- more easily called KJP. Once a week she faces an army of reporters seeking honest answers and instead supplies them with platitudes, half-truths and just plain evasion. To be blunt, it's sickening. Two years ago her salary was $185,000 and is likely more now, but that hardly seems worth it to lie to the whole world on a regular basis. I'd want at least a million and an escape plan for when all hell breaks loose.

As for Dr. Jill, she shouted at a televised campaign rally earlier today that, "Every morning, Joe wakes up ready to serve Americans!" Yes, Jill, we know, but what is he serving? (If you guessed "a crock of shit," you were right.)

Sarah Jessica Parker Drives Women Crazy

I wish I knew on what planet actress Sarah Jessica Parker is not beautiful. Wherever it is, many female Earthlings must live there and feel it necessary to state that she is hideous, ugly, and horse-faced all over the Internet. I'd give anything to see what all her detractors look like.

Life Is Ridiculous

By the time one has lived for 78 years most of the things that once seemed important don't anymore. Yet William Shakespeare was only 42 when he deemed life, "a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing." He was definitely onto something, even at that young age.

Peach astilbe, healthy.

Outside of wars and childhood cancer, it appears that society's concerns in general have become ridiculous. Proof of this can be found in the several thousand episodic TV shows currently commanding the attention of the average American. (I only interact with average Americans so can only speak to that; possibly Elon Musk does not binge-watch anything.) Aside from geniuses who invent things, we've become a nation of watchers rather than doers. Sadly, I am one of them. There's no telling  what we might have accomplished by now if there were no TV or Internet. 

I'd love to find out but I'm addicted to The Bear, currently in its third season. And before that, so many shows preceded it that filled my head with content unrelated to my real life. In fact, most "news" has nothing to do with me: Ringo Starr just turned 84. Joe Biden isn't quitting despite being senile. It hit 120 degrees in Las Vegas yesterday, an all-time high. It's almost time for the Paris Olympics, and I'm not competing in them. Russia bombed a children's hospital in Ukraine yesterday. Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez are having marital problems.

Here's a bit of my life: Last week my husband made me a new garden bed into which I planted nine beautiful healthy flowers. Eight of them are thriving and one, a lovely pink astilbe, is sick and appears to be dying. I've given it plant food, water it daily and talk to it several times a day, with little positive result. This makes me sad. I will probably have to pull it up soon and replace it. 

While my dying astilbe means nothing to anyone, is totally trivial and matters less than a passing wisp of cloud in the sky, it's more important to me than whether or not The Bear's fictional Carmy and Claire get back together, yet just this morning I spied four different articles on that particular subject online, each followed by heated debates among the show's fans.

Life is changing every minute: People will continue to breed, unless transgenderism becomes the norm, and some new fad will eventually replace those ubiquitous tattoos. Maybe someday it will become less ridiculous. I can dream, can't I?

Idiocracy To Replace Democracy

Life imitates art: The President in "Idiocracy".

This must be a dream. What did I have for dinner last night? Oh yeah, some grass-fed lamb that wasn't past its sell-by date but was dangerously close. I spit it out quick, but not before some of it got to my brain and, as I slept, caused some crazy shit. Like, get this: Kamala Harris was the President of the United States! 

Yes, Giggles herself, the very same one who loves yellow school buses and blow jobs -- wait, can I still say that without being arrested at four in the morning and carted off to prison? Yes? Okay, then I will let it stand. Anyway, in my dream she was just as dumb as she is in real life. I woke up in a cold sweat.

I can still remember the hoots and hollers when Senator John McCain, then the Republican candidate for president, named Sarah Palin as his VP choice. Upon reflection, compared to Harris, Palin was Albert Einstein.

Despite Joe saying he's not going anywhere and people saying Harris is a shoo-in for the job, today's New York Times weighs the relative merits of other potential candidates under consideration to replace Biden on the ticket. Meanwhile, he is out "campaigning" in Pennsylvania. This is beyond sad -- it's shocking that his wife Jill has not been arrested on charges of elder abuse.

Anyway, if you have not yet seen the movie Idiocracy you'd better watch it soon, just in case Trump loses. You'll want a contingency plan.

Telling It Like It Is

The Inner Joe Biden

It's shocking how often worn-out euphemisms are used in public discourse by the people ostensibly in power who allegedly know and speak "the truth." Nobody, certainly not anyone in the media who doesn't work for FOX News, comes even close to truth. So I was surprised when George Stephanopoulos, a network news stooge who has openly aligned himself with Democrats since his earliest days on the scene, grilled Joe Biden in a televised interview about his capacity to serve as president. In fact, Stephanopoulos was like a pit bull chomping down on a toddler; he was not about to lose his prize, which in this case would be his own waning career. 

Still, even though he repeatedly asked Biden if he was fit to hold the highest office in the land, he never went in for the kill. He didn't say what I would have said given the chance, which is, "Oh please, everyone wants you out! Just quit already and stay home in your jammies watching reruns of Gilligan's Island!" (This is probably why I don't have a career in journalism.)

"I don’t think anybody’s more qualified to be president or win this race than me." -- Joe Biden

I am not one to use euphemisms. In my mind, "a woman's right to choose" is actually "murdering unborn babies." Joe Biden is not "having lapses of memory," he is "losing his mind." He also is losing his grip on reality, which is the only way to explain his ridiculous statement in the interview that he is the most qualified person to lead our country! Come on, man! The truth is, almost anyone could do a better job than Joe, with the possible exception of Kamala Harris.

How come nobody ever says that? 

"Sleepy Joe" Needs More Sleep

"Sleepy Joe" is a nickname for Joe Biden coined by Donald Trump in 2019 after a series of videos showing Biden nodding off during important meetings and television interviews. It quickly became a meme on social media, and five years later it turns out to be 100% accurate, as the Biden team is now blaming his poor debate performance on a lack of sufficient sleep. He doesn't have cognitive decline after all, he was just sleepy. Well that's a load off!

Despite the cacophony of calls for him to resign, Biden is staying put. Last week he told a group of Democratic governors with concerns about his fitness for office that he just needs to work fewer hours, including wrapping up his schedule by 8pm each day. He stressed that he is physically fit, but "it's just my brain." 

I don't know about you but I feel a lot better hearing this. It's no big deal, he's just not a night owl! (Let's all hope no terrorists get wind of this and attack us after dark.) 

A Fine Kettle of Fish

Republicans are sane, for the most part, whereas Democrats on the whole are out of their gourds, oblivious to facts, and worst of all, racists. They chose a Vice President based on her skin color and not her character, which is the EXACT OPPOSITE OF WHAT MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR. SAID TO DO! And now they are in a tizzy, dither and flap, having conniption fits over the horrifying reality that if Joe Biden quits or dies in his sleep or trips over his own feet or falls into a sinkhole or whatever, they will be faced with Kamala Harris, a hapless ninny, as the LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD!

Come on now, laugh with me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

 

Come On, Man!

Apparently Joe Biden's handlers don't know the cardinal rule about lying: ONLY GIVE ONE EXCUSE! Any more and obviously you are groping for something that might stick. 

After his poor debate performance last week, they simply should have said, "He is an old man with a failing memory and can't put a sentence together without a teleprompter." We all would have believed that one. But instead, they came up with the following list which they use whenever the spirit moves them:

"He had a cold." (The kind where there's no sniffling, coughing, sneezing, runny nose or nasal quality to one's voice, and it's gone the next day, leaving you with a Florida tan.)

"He had a grueling travel schedule." (He flew to and from Europe 11 days earlier and still had jet lag.)

"He was over-rehearsed." (So he forgot everything because his brain was too full.)

"He had a bad night." (That one was evidently true.)

Come on, man -- everyone knows that if you want to be President, you gotta know how to lie convincingly. It's the very basis of all politics. Jeesh!

Crazy Mixed-up Robots

I read a story online about Biden's mental infirmity and how it might hinder his chances of being re-elected. Naturally the comments following it were heated. One was a lengthy diatribe against Donald Trump, claiming that Biden was perfectly fine and needed to save us from "the end of Democracy," which every liberal must repeat at least once a day or else they will be murdered in their sleep by a member of the Clinton death squad.

Anyway, that comment blew my mind and I wrote, aiming for helpful rather than vengeful, "You need help, get some therapy." The bot rejected my comment deeming it counter to the rules of civil discourse and suggesting I edit the offensive message. So I wrote what I really thought, which was, "You are a crazy lunatic asshole."

That comment was accepted and remains. So I'm wondering who is teaching those robots what's okay and what isn't.

Poor Old Joe

It's obvious that the malicious Democrats now running the country don't give a hoot about Joe Biden. This includes his wife, the evil Doctor Jill, currently posing on the cover of Vogue as if all is well. 

If any one of them actually did care about him, that poor old man would have been safe at home, tucked into a comfy rocker sipping cocoa in a fleecy bathrobe and slippers instead of standing at a podium, slack-jawed under hot lights, trying hard to sort out the jumble of facts that had been crammed into his addled brain by the cabal* of power-hungry politicians eager to maintain their tenacious grip on the presidency.

* A cabal is a group of people who are united in some close design, usually to promote their private views or interests in an ideology, a state, or another community, often by intrigue and usually without the knowledge of those who are outside their group.

Don't Blame It On Aging

A shrinking brain is never good.

Joe Biden and Donald Trump are both giving aging a bad name. And as a physically fit 78-year-old still in possession of all my marbles -- and possibly a few extra -- I don't like it one bit. Trump may be mentally very sharp but sadly, like too many older Americans he is obese, while Biden is scaring young people by making them think he's a normal 81-year-old who happens to occasionally stutter. He definitely is not that.

Biden's problem isn't his advancing age, it's his retreating brain. In fact, Alzheimer's doesn't care how old you are -- my own mother first showed signs of it at age 57 and died at 62. We have been lied to about his condition by all of Biden's protectors, including his family and most egregiously the liberal media. Someone has got to tell Joe, "Come on, man -- we all saw the debate! You're out of it, at least some of the time, and being president means you're on call all of the time." (The silliest lie is that Joe is brilliant between the hours of 10am and 4pm. The horror of 9/11 began at 8:14am -- uh oh, should we wake Joe or not?)

The truth is that many, if not most, of Joe's peers are mentally fit 24/7. My friend Ron H. is 87 and except for slight hearing loss shows no signs of slowing down, is not an ounce overweight, and undertakes construction projects on his property that many far younger men would not even attempt. Another friend, John C., who will turn 90 in a few months, has some back issues but is up to speed intellectually; I'd certainly trust him with the nuclear codes, which is not something I can say about Biden. Then there's Harrison Ford, 81, who needs no introduction and is still entertaining us on film, as is June Squibb, a great actress who at 94 has the title role in "Thelma," currently showing in theaters, and she doesn't play an old lady.

So the issue is not that Joe is old, it's that he has dementia. Oh, and he lies and is a crook, but that's another post.