My funny, sweet, kind, adorable father died 31 years ago. I remember because I was pregnant with my only child at the time, who today is 31. I loved my father very much and was heartbroken, especially after caring for him during his final months of suffering with advanced colon cancer. Just as I was preparing to leave his empty apartment to attend his funeral, I received a call from a family member who, after explaining that he "had an important business meeting" and thus would not be attending the funeral, laughingly added, "I'm sorry your daddy is deady."
I guess it was supposed to be funny, but instead the comment stunned me, and the passage of time hasn't lessened its sting. While I have forgiven the speaker for his poor judgment, I have not forgotten those words. In fact they come to mind every time I see him, which is quite often since he's my husband's identical twin.
Conventional wisdom advises that one should not hold on to grudges. But what about when grudges hold on to you? My advice to everyone: You better watch your mouth, since you never know which of your words will leave a permanent scar.
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