There are countless difference between me and the average celebrity, but the best one is that I can say whatever I want and never get any flak for it. This is because A, I have few readers and B, those readers I do have are not the kind who waste time commenting, unlike the millions of morons out there who seem to make it their life's work to respond, usually via Twitter, to any and all utterances made by famous people. It's sickening, really, and I can't imagine how celebs tolerate it.
Another big difference -- aside from a 35,000 square-foot house in Malibu overlooking the Pacific, four Jaguars in the 5-car garage, a personal chef, endless pool and home gym -- is the fact that I don't care what other people think of me since clearly one's own opinion is the only one that matters. (This explains the suicides of wealthy celebs like Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain.) Once you lose your self-respect, or if God forbid you never had any in the first place, life is nothing but a painful prison.
Anyway, following are some outrageous statements I make because I can:
1. People are the dumbest species on the planet. No other species willingly undergoes surgery to make themselves look younger on the outside, leaving their insides just as old as ever and thus just as close to death.
2. Maine and Vermont are the whitest states in America and also share the country's lowest crime rate, yet white people are currently seen as very bad people, i.e. "basket of deplorables." Nobody ever mentions this in all the heated talk about racism and immigration.
3. Senator Elizabeth Warren must be mentally ill. That's the only explanation I can think of for her continuing to remain in the public eye after her "I'm an Indian" charade was debunked.
4. Sandra Oh, shown here, is a fabulous actress. End of story. But no, it's not. After her winning a Golden Globe for Best Actress, many news outlets made a big deal about how she, born to Korean parents, is the first actress of Asian descent to win multiple awards. Whatever happened to people are just people and race is not an issue, blah, blah, blah?
5. Looking inward is far more rewarding than looking outward.
Another big difference -- aside from a 35,000 square-foot house in Malibu overlooking the Pacific, four Jaguars in the 5-car garage, a personal chef, endless pool and home gym -- is the fact that I don't care what other people think of me since clearly one's own opinion is the only one that matters. (This explains the suicides of wealthy celebs like Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain.) Once you lose your self-respect, or if God forbid you never had any in the first place, life is nothing but a painful prison.
Anyway, following are some outrageous statements I make because I can:
1. People are the dumbest species on the planet. No other species willingly undergoes surgery to make themselves look younger on the outside, leaving their insides just as old as ever and thus just as close to death.
2. Maine and Vermont are the whitest states in America and also share the country's lowest crime rate, yet white people are currently seen as very bad people, i.e. "basket of deplorables." Nobody ever mentions this in all the heated talk about racism and immigration.
3. Senator Elizabeth Warren must be mentally ill. That's the only explanation I can think of for her continuing to remain in the public eye after her "I'm an Indian" charade was debunked.4. Sandra Oh, shown here, is a fabulous actress. End of story. But no, it's not. After her winning a Golden Globe for Best Actress, many news outlets made a big deal about how she, born to Korean parents, is the first actress of Asian descent to win multiple awards. Whatever happened to people are just people and race is not an issue, blah, blah, blah?
5. Looking inward is far more rewarding than looking outward.
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