Dummies for President

No matter where you look it seems that things in America keep getting worse every day. This makes me sad for my young son who will live out the remainder of his life -- and I pray it is a long and healthy one -- in a cultural wasteland where political correctness has replaced what was formerly known as "basic intelligence."

Our leaders are growing steadily dumber. One day people will look back and regard Trump as our last effective President, and believe me, I'm no fan of the man. But it's slim pickings out there concerning our next election, as is evidenced by the group of empty-headed tweeters in the Dump Trump Party who have already declared their candidacies. Don't get me started on naming them, let's just say that platitudes rule the day: If you profess to love the poor, the homeless, the unskilled, all people of color, immigrants (legal or not), the sexually confused, the morbidly obese, and anyone saddled with any sort of handicap, you will be regarded as a clear-thinking, fair-minded savior, despite lacking any clue as to how to fix our broken country.

"Vote for me, I'm female and part Puerto-Rican!"

One example of such a person is Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, 29, who is fuzzy on the difference between her ass and a hole in the ground but nobody cares because she is female and not white, and definitely owns one, if not several, of those knitted pink pussy hats. Despite citing our "three chambers of government: the House, the Senate and the presidency," she has catapulted to the top of the hopeful heap, mostly by doing things like going on social media in support of charities for transgender teens in Great Britain.

So after careful study, and hearing Sen. Elizabeth Warren's vacuous stump speech on CNN the other night, I've determined that if you'd like to live in a palace and have your own private airplane with a shower and a dining room on it, just repeat the following things as often as possible to as many people you can find:

"I promise to make America fair for all people, except Republicans who are dirt and should rot in Hell."

"I will insure that every citizen receives free health care, free access to higher education (but not at any of the Ivies), free food, free housing and a guaranteed income, paid for by the rich white Republicans who made all the money and spend it on their own face lifts, yachts and multiple oceanfront homes."

"Embracing hundreds of thousands of unskilled, unemployable immigrants who don't speak English will make each of us feel better about ourselves."

And hey--good luck! See you at the Inauguration, which is on January 3rd according to Ms. Ocasio-Cortez, even though since 1937 it has taken place on January 20th, which is 72 to 78 days after the presidential election held on the first Tuesday after the first Monday in November.