Thursday, January 31, 2019

Airline To-Do List

An article in today's Wall Street Journal tries to be helpful by tackling the subject of how airlines could improve the experience of flying. It cites lessening change fees, cancellation policies and blah, blah, blah. All great for your pocketbook, but none of it will make flying more palatable. Following are some ways to achieve that goal.

1. Instead of those mini-bags of pretzels, yogurt-covered raisins and corn chips, flight attendants should dispense doses of Valium, Dramamine and Zzzquil.

2. Until 1988 there were Smoking Sections on airplanes, usually the last ten rows. This outdated practice should be modernized as the Obesity Section, since while smoking is now frowned upon and illegal in many places, obesity is quite popular and growing more acceptable every day. With extra-wide seating, never again will an average-sized person stuffed between two fatties (you heard me) be denied an armrest. And hefty travelers could finally relax and revel in their girth. (They could also be given the pretzels, chips and yogurt-raisin snacks.)

3. Bring back those blankets! What else are we supposed to put over our heads during turbulence?

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