Monday, August 13, 2018

Rage Against the Machine

As I have stated many times before, I am a pacifist. In fact I am a severe pacifist, so much so that I don't believe in war, don't believe in weaponry, have no respect for the military and don't give money to vet charities. Just the other day I got a calendar in the mail from the Wounded Warrior Project and I threw it in the trash. (They're the worst, those Wounded Warriors. What did they think was gonna happen?)

Anyway, I don't own a gun, would certainly never hold a gun, and would flee if anyone showed up anywhere near me with a gun. All that being said, if I were a different person and thought violence was the way to avenge a grievance, I know who my target would be: VW Leasing in Liberty, Illinois. These are the folks who hold the lease on my new 2018 Audi, the very same ones who sent the Repo Man to our house for the car because we hadn't paid our bills in three months. Thing is, we hadn't gotten any bills in three months, and nobody pays bills they don't get unless they are an idiot/savant, and I am neither.

After much ado my husband paid our bill over the phone and the Repo Guy went away, but now it's that time again and still no bill. So today I called VW Leasing and was on hold for 35 minutes -- I guess because my call was so important to them, otherwise I might have been on hold for two hours -- and finally a guy came on to help me, only he kept saying "You're breaking up, you're breaking up," which is what my son used to say when he was a teenager and wanted to get off the phone with me. So I said, "I have four bars, I hear you perfectly, why am I breaking up?" And then he hung up.  

So now I am back to square one only minus a mind since I lost it when the guy hung up on me after I had been on hold for 35 minutes. I guess I could just keep an eye out for the Repo Man and do that whole thing again, or I could put on a wig and sunglasses and take a Greyhound bus to the offices of VW Leasing in Liberty, Illinois and give them a piece of my AK47 or whatever it's called, which I won't do, of course. But if I were crazy and wanted to go to prison and needed a way to get myself there, believe me, that would be so satisfying.

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