Wisdom of the Aged

The best thing about getting older, partially compensating for things like your body falling apart, is that your bullshit monitor has become finely honed and sounds an alarm so much sooner than when you are young, unless of course you have Alzheimer's or other sorts of dementia, in which case everything sucks. But if you're lucky enough to retain your mental acuity there is more time to spend on things that matter and less on meaningless frivolity. You can also shave down that cumbersome list of so-called friends you've been harnessed with for years, keeping only the ones who have your best interests at heart.

Since my personal bullshit monitor started out really strong to begin with, these days it is razor sharp. This explains why it takes me just minutes to read the paper each morning, and even less time to scan the Internet. There is a ton of bullshit out there, and it's more often than not stuff you already know. For example, an article entitled "Six Things to Never Do In Paris" included the advice, "Don't wear uncomfortable shoes." This made me wonder if A, the author of that story is a moron and B, is it okay to wear uncomfortable shoes in other European cities? How about here at home?

As for those old friends you've been lugging around -- ditch 'em at the first indisputable sign of poison. I say indisputable because there are always going to be circumstances that may cause people to be nasty or downright unsupportive. But absent those on just an ordinary day, if your friend slips up and lets you see that all respect for you has evaporated, leaving only rubbernecking and a perverse interest in seeing you fail, dump that bitch. (Or bastard.)