Every "expert" in the growing field of spirituality, mindfulness
and meditation training says the same thing, in slightly different
ways: We are all one. Accept people the way they are. Forgive people their faults. Don't
be judgmental. I try, believe me. But how do you love someone you consider unlovable? How do you accept flaws that make you think less of them? Admit it, it's a Herculean task. And it's even tougher when that person is yourself.
I grapple with my demons on a daily basis, and they are a lousy bunch of miscreants, I must say. The gang leader is anxiety, whose weapon is high blood pressure that shows up whenever it damn well pleases, without any advance warning, ruining plans made in advance by my better self. This totally pisses me off, which makes my blood pressure soar even higher, proving further how diabolical it is.
Naturally I give in it to its demands by "trying to stay calm," which is of course stupid advice at such times, kind of like telling the passengers aboard the Titanic to just relax and look at the pretty iceberg. Still, I make an attempt by lying down, sipping water and listening to relaxation tapes offered by some of those people I mentioned earlier, all of whom tell me to accept the wrongdoer with open arms. Fat lot of help they are.
Besides the physical stuff, and like millions of other people, I have a boatload of fears that run, or ruin, my life. While thankfully I don't have any of the most common ones (public speaking, the dentist, death), I do suffer from fear of flying, fear of insects, fear of driving in the snow and fear of being brutally dismembered by a psychotic escapee from a distant prison who has somehow found our property on its lonely, wooded two acres and sneaked into the house through an open basement window, which is really dumb since there are no windows in our basement. Still, I have the fear.
On the plus side, some of my past fears have completely disappeared after years of hard work. I can now drive over bridges easily instead of whimpering on the back seat under a blanket, and I'm no longer afraid I will mistakenly eat the cat poop while I'm cleaning the litter box. (That last fear doesn't have a name and I might be the only person who ever had it.) So I guess I'm not all bad. Hey, I might even love myself after all. Maybe even by this Valentine's Day, if I work at it.
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| Note to self: I love you. |
Naturally I give in it to its demands by "trying to stay calm," which is of course stupid advice at such times, kind of like telling the passengers aboard the Titanic to just relax and look at the pretty iceberg. Still, I make an attempt by lying down, sipping water and listening to relaxation tapes offered by some of those people I mentioned earlier, all of whom tell me to accept the wrongdoer with open arms. Fat lot of help they are.
Besides the physical stuff, and like millions of other people, I have a boatload of fears that run, or ruin, my life. While thankfully I don't have any of the most common ones (public speaking, the dentist, death), I do suffer from fear of flying, fear of insects, fear of driving in the snow and fear of being brutally dismembered by a psychotic escapee from a distant prison who has somehow found our property on its lonely, wooded two acres and sneaked into the house through an open basement window, which is really dumb since there are no windows in our basement. Still, I have the fear.
On the plus side, some of my past fears have completely disappeared after years of hard work. I can now drive over bridges easily instead of whimpering on the back seat under a blanket, and I'm no longer afraid I will mistakenly eat the cat poop while I'm cleaning the litter box. (That last fear doesn't have a name and I might be the only person who ever had it.) So I guess I'm not all bad. Hey, I might even love myself after all. Maybe even by this Valentine's Day, if I work at it.
just relax and look at the pretty iceberg hehehehehe
ReplyDeletewould you be my valentine?