Beware of pit bulls masquerading as people running around off-leash. Today I met one who was dressed as a fat lady in a bathing suit. I totally bought that she was human until she opened her mouth and started growling and barking. That gave it away.
The ugly altercation unfolded at the swimming pool of the hotel where my husband and I are currently staying. A large sign states THE RULES OF THE POOL right where you get the towels, so you can't miss it. Rule #1: NO RESERVING OF LOUNGE OR POOL CHAIRS PERMITTED. Yet by 7 in the morning a few of them have been "claimed" with towels draped over them while the claimant is nowhere in sight, off having breakfast or out for a run or sleeping in. Whatever. By 8, fully half of them have been towel-claimed, and by 9 it's all over: No chairs left.
This morning Mitch and I got to the pool at about 10:30 and saw rows and rows of empty chairs with towels on them. We decided that we were in the right and took two towels off of two lounge chairs, stretched out, put on sunscreen and settled in for some sunshine. Our good time was short-lived, as 20 minutes later the pit bull showed up, baring her teeth and roaring, "Get out of our chairs!" No "Hello," no "Excuse me," just naked bloodlust.
I tried civility for about a minute but she would have none of it. Suddenly she was cursing and shrieking that we "stoled" her chairs. Her incorrect grammar was my trigger, alerting me to the fact that we were dealing not only with a woman who lacked even a shred of self-control but was dumb to boot. A bad combination in my book, I said she should go on a diet because it's very unhealthy to be that fat. Meanwhile Mitch was yelling, "Right is on or side, look at the sign with the rules!" This elicited her angry retort, "You must have a little dick!"
How does someone go from "you stoled my chairs" to "you have a little dick?" What's wrong with people? Is this all because Donald Trump beat Hillary Clinton? Is it because of the NRA and school shootings? Is it that fat people have anger issues? I don't know, but the fact is that half-dog, half-humans are out there, so be careful.
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| At least she didn't sit on me. |
This morning Mitch and I got to the pool at about 10:30 and saw rows and rows of empty chairs with towels on them. We decided that we were in the right and took two towels off of two lounge chairs, stretched out, put on sunscreen and settled in for some sunshine. Our good time was short-lived, as 20 minutes later the pit bull showed up, baring her teeth and roaring, "Get out of our chairs!" No "Hello," no "Excuse me," just naked bloodlust.
I tried civility for about a minute but she would have none of it. Suddenly she was cursing and shrieking that we "stoled" her chairs. Her incorrect grammar was my trigger, alerting me to the fact that we were dealing not only with a woman who lacked even a shred of self-control but was dumb to boot. A bad combination in my book, I said she should go on a diet because it's very unhealthy to be that fat. Meanwhile Mitch was yelling, "Right is on or side, look at the sign with the rules!" This elicited her angry retort, "You must have a little dick!"
How does someone go from "you stoled my chairs" to "you have a little dick?" What's wrong with people? Is this all because Donald Trump beat Hillary Clinton? Is it because of the NRA and school shootings? Is it that fat people have anger issues? I don't know, but the fact is that half-dog, half-humans are out there, so be careful.
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