Too Sexy for Words

Now that is what I would call a "sexy" martini glass.

Yesterday I read a restaurant review written by one of those new Internet writers who accept 1/7th of a penny per word for their work. It mentioned that the restaurant under discussion serves "martinis in sexy glasses." I read that line many times, trying to figure out its meaning and intent. First off, can glasses that you drink from actually be sexy, as in concerned predominantly or excessively with sex? Can they be related to sexual intercourse, or amorous behavior, or even--going to the secondary meaning of the word-- glamorous and exciting? What the heck kind of glasses were they? Did they have condoms attached, or perhaps prescriptions for birth control taped to the bottoms? Was the reviewer implying that if you went to that restaurant and ordered one of those drinks, that you would pretty soon be having sex yourself? I could go on.....

"Sexy" is somehow supposed to be a good thing, making the dullest item appealing. A sexy car, a sexy toothbrush, a sexy home mortgage. The fact is, that adjective in front of whatever it is does not always make it all that appealing. For example, a sexy orthopedic surgeon is scheduled to perform my hip replacement surgery, but I still don't want to have it done and I may yet cancel--after a couple more pre-op visits. (He is cute.)

The much-abused English language has been pushed and pulled in all directions to meet the needs of today's newest generation, one that is fixated on sex, sex and more sex. No wonder they are clamoring for abortions, abortions and more abortions. Well, speaking from personal experience, I gotta say that having an abortion is not all that sexy, even when the doctor performing it is.