Some People!

Some people have all the luck. I am not one of some people.

My left slipper.

This morning's Wall Street Journal contains an article on the Opinion page that one can only hope is supposed to be funny, even though it isn't. But the author got himself in there somehow, a feat I have yet to accomplish. San Francisco writer Gerald Nachman's essay on his fruitless quest for a pair of bedroom slippers was deemed worthy by the editors, although God knows why. In fact, after reading his recounting of how he can't find a decent pair of bedroom slippers, I am wondering two things: A, how does he dress himself every day and B, why do I still read the Wall Street Journal?

For starters, Gerald admits that his old pair had "fallen apart at the seams" after just one year. What kind of crummy slippers were they anyway? I too am a writer who pads around the house in slippers--although not all day as Gerald admits to doing--but my boiled wool Haflingers purchased five years ago still look new. Secondly, he whines that he ordered a pair from Craigslist and they took two weeks to arrive, offering further evidence of a decline in customer service "and everything else in the U.S." Good grief, has the man never heard of Zappos? If you place your order by four in the afternoon, you'll be holding it in your hot little hands by brunch the following day, probably just about the time Gerry is waking up.

Lastly, he says he is doomed to "shuffling around the house in his stocking feet" until December 25, when he may get a pair as a gift. I say, any writer who can manage to get an article published in the Wall Street Journal but can't find himself a decent pair of bedroom slippers deserves to find a few lumps of coal on Christmas morning, and nothing else.