Only in America

I am now completely petrified to be living in America. Today might be the day I get sued by someone. It's become a very popular pastime and you hardly need much of a reason, just a hungry lawyer with few scruples -- an accurate description of most lawyers -- and you're good to go. (Also, one of my favorite expressions is "Sue me," which I'd better stop saying.)

This morning I had barely turned on my computer before I read the following stories:

* The parents of a 14-year-old boy participating in a Utah Little League event who fell off the top bunk of a bunk bed while he was sleeping are suing BOTH the bed's manufacturer and the Utah Little League. 

* The parents of Virginia Commonwealth University freshman just won their million-dollar lawsuit against the school after their son willingly drank an entire bottle of whiskey and died of alcohol poisoning as part of a fraternity hazing. 

* Three of the 50 illegal-entry migrants, a.k.a. "asylum seekers," who were flown to Martha's Vineyard are suing Governor Ron DeSantis for false promises. Among other complaints, allegedly they were told they would receive a $10 gift certificate to McDonald's upon arrival which they did not get. 

Maybe I should sue AOL for printing these stories and adding to my almost-debilitating paranoia when all I wanted to do was look at my email. I am pretty sure I could find representation.