How to Change Your Life Overnight!

Advertising executives are clearly out of their minds. The stuff they come up with to sell their goods and services is proof. Today I saw an ad on my Instagram stream that showed a woman, very excited, holding up a bra and saying, "This bra will literally change your life!" Not just change my life as an expression indicating I will like it a lot, but literally change it.

I looked up the word "literally" and it said "exactly." So the bra in question will actually change my life. I might have to buy it since it would mean that my friend Debra has not been dead for the past seven weeks so I can call her right after the bra arrives. And all of my paintings will start selling at high prices, and I will easily lose fifteen pounds in no time and be able to wear all those pants hanging in the back of my closet. My son will call me with only good news, and we can adopt a new kitty from the rescue place and our present cat Lurch will love it immediately and start grooming it and cuddling it instead of hiding in a corner growling and having diarrhea.

I cannot wait for that bra to arrive!