Out of the Closet: I Like Trump

My husband's horrible relatives, a group of non-thinking, overweight automatons, continue to dog him on Facebook because he voted for Trump in the last election. They persist in the belief that, "Everyone who voted for Trump is a Nazi," and that includes Mitch. This is laughable at the very least and pathetic at its core: they know nothing about people who think differently than they do since they rarely spend any time listening, only shouting filthy obscenities at the opposition between stuffing their faces in order to reach such gargantuan sizes.

This latest round of Facebook fighting has prompted me to come out of the closet: I voted for Trump and I'm glad I did. And yes, I believe the last election was rigged and that he was going to win, so the Democrats shut down the whole business for the night until they could come up with some devious footwork to save the day and usher in the old fool we've got now.

I wish Trump were president today. America would be much better off. Also, I miss Melania who is beautiful and gracious and sweet. I was never crazy about the Trump kids and could do without them butting into things. Despite that, the following things are true about me:

I don't own a MAGA hat and have never attended a Trump rally and never would. I'm not an idiot.

I am also not a Nazi. I am a Jew and think Nazis are sick lowlife morons who should be shot on sight and thrown into a dirt grave like they did to all those Jews during the war.

I have never owned a gun or a pickup truck.

I believe in abortion and if I didn't I'd have a passel of grandkids today.

I love gay men, although I must admit that lesbians make me a little nauseous and I honestly think transgenders have a mental illness.

I am completely in favor of legal immigration, even though I am no fan of Mexican food.

I am not a racist. None of my friends who voted for Trump are racists, although a couple of my close Democrat friends admit to an intense and lifelong dislike of black and brown people.

My one and only prejudice is against fat people, who I consider to be unhealthy, gluttonous, rude, lazy and repulsive to look at, not to mention a drain on our economy and health care system.