Loners Anonymous Summer Meeting

Anxiety, depression and suicides are up among Generation Z-ers (born between 1995 and 2010) because they spend their entire lives online. Online is a bad place where nothing is real and everyone lies and if you tell the truth you get censored or cancelled. So these poor young people assume they are the only ones who are unhappy, and naturally that makes them feel even worse about themselves.

Sadly, truth is a dying art. This pisses me off since I am compelled to speak the truth at all costs (although I do keep secrets I have sworn not to tell and not if it hurts my son). Thus I am often shunned. Which means that the friendships I maintain are with other truth-tellers and truth-seekers, or at least truth-respecters, the best kind of people and the only ones worth my time.

Years ago I lost a good friend because I refused to have my young son, who was 12 at the time, do an overnight with her older son, a 24-year-old schizophrenic with a violent history. Oddly enough she found that offensive and "unsupportive." I lost another, a serial aborter, when I advised that abortion may not always be the best option and perhaps she should use birth control or stop sleeping around. She never spoke to me again.

Another friend, obese by any measure, always made fun of me for ordering salads when we dined out, as opposed to her polishing off huge platters of poutine no matter where we ate. I ended that one; who needs to be mocked for eating well? And another one bit the dust when she said my paintings suggested I am crazy and need therapy. Hey, I may be crazy and I might need therapy, but my paintings are certainly quite normal-looking.

Moral of the Story: If you want a lot of friends, just lie about everything. Otherwise plan to spend a lot of time alone.