Doctor, Heal Thyself: Answer the Damn Phone!

Dr. Lego will see you now....

I suggest if you are feeling poorly just call 911. Sure, the ambulance will cost you, but at least you'll get somebody to listen to your complaints and possibly come up with a solution, although as all the intelligent doctors age out of the system and are replaced with dummy millennials whose go-to skills are Googling your symptoms, good luck with that. 

Nobody in the medical profession answers the phone anymore. Instead they have some chirpy lady make a recording which says how important your call is to them. Well if it's so damn important then why don't they pick up the phone and find out why you're calling? And why don't they ever call back, even after you leave repeated messages giving them, of course, your name and birthdate and your reason for calling?

This happened to me yesterday when I had the unfortunate circumstance of needing advice from MAINE ORTHODONTICS, where I purchased my Invisalign braces almost three years ago. At the time it was headed by a wonderful man named Dr. Thomas A. Stegemann, but he retired a year ago and his young colleagues, a married couple named Drs. Shuman and Razzaghi who are totally clueless when it comes to so many things, like taking care of patients for one, inherited the practice.

I called their office four times during the day, each time leaving a detailed message regarding my situation (which I will not bore you with here but suffice it to say I needed an answer), and each time I heard that same voice chirp, "We are either on the phone or helping other customers." I say, "Bullshit!"

Anyway, do not go to MAINE ORTHODONTICS for your Invisalign braces! They charge $6,000 and you can get them for less elsewhere, and from nicer people. Better yet, just build an orthodontist from a Lego set. It will be just as responsive.