I'd Rather Be Hairy Than Fat

Some 27-year-old songwriter you never heard of recently shared a photo of herself online with her arms extended over her head, the better to exhibit her armpit hair. This is supposedly very forward-thinking of her, and thus solicited many oohs, ahhs and likes from her Twitter fans, who thanked her for being "an inspiration," even though she is white and as we know all white people are scum. 

The woman, Julia Michaels, explained that she had been "fed up with beauty standards for some time now," and so she decided to take this very brave stand against women shaving their armpits.

These days I need a heavy dose of Pepto-Bismol after reading most of the crap that passes for "news" on the Internet. Young people with nothing better to do spend hours looking at this garbage and think they are contributing to society. They are not. In fact hardly anyone is, which is why America's rankings on all charts are slipping, except for the most obese nation where we are number one.