Boo-fucking-hoo Already

Good thing Kleenex is biodegradable.....

Question: Do we all have to suffer everyone's suffering? It seems that more and more people choose to broadcast their personal tragedies online, often even making YouTube videos of their horror stories and then asking for money to help with a particular problem. Since I have access to enough sadness in my own life, and in the lives of those close to me, and those not even close but in my path, and also those not even in my path but on the sidelines, like when I do volunteer work at the hospital, I do not need more. Sadness is pretty much the only thing I am totally stocked up on. (That and belly fat.)

Some examples: Just now I went online and stumbled upon a video about a stillborn baby and his mother who died in childbirth and the father singing a Beatles song to his dying baby. Yesterday, while trying to keep my blood pressure under 200, I came upon the Facebook page of a friend of a friend whose 18-year-old daughter had died of cancer the day before, and suddenly I was sobbing my already-taxed heart out for a complete stranger and looking for my pills.

Thus in my current state of ill health it is imperative that I use the Internet solely for the reasons God intended: to play Words With Friends and Scrabble and post my blog. If anyone needs me, please call or email.