Santa is So Over

Why do people answer "fine" when asked how they're doing, even if they have just been diagnosed with Stage 4 breast cancer or lost all their savings in a bad investment? Maybe if honest answers were allowed in our Smiley Face world, fewer than the 10% of Americans currently taking antidepressants would need to do so. Instead, we're taught that our feelings of sadness are signs of debilitating depression, when they're just sane responses to insane situations.

The tendency to hide the awful truth of our lives seems much more intense this time of year, when you are supposed to be happy and jolly and full of good cheer, and if you're not, well then mister, you are pretty fucking weird. Waiting on the deli line at the supermarket this afternoon, the customer ahead of me, a complete stranger, started up an innocuous friendly conversation to while away the moments waiting for service. Eventually he asked, "So did you have a very Merry Christmas? " Remembering the more dismal aspects of the day, I answered, "No, it was not really merry at all, to tell you the truth." Suddenly it was as if I had just opened up a vial of anthrax. He turned away, took a few steps forward and began studying the contents of the deli case as if the butcher were going to spring a pop quiz. No more chitchat, in fact the man turned downright gloomy. I kicked myself, wishing I had said instead, "It was fabulous! My husband and I went to Sandals Jamaica where we basked in the seductive warmth of the ever-present sunshine, sipping exotic tropical drinks and gazing out at the endless expanse of aquamarine sea."

That would have been a far better answer, and what am I here for if not to brighten the lives of others? After all, this is the season of joy, despite what happened in Dallas on Christmas morning, when a man dressed as Santa pulled out two handguns and killed six of his relatives before killing himself. (One news report said there were still unopened presents lying about; who knows, perhaps one of those was the very gift he was hoping for!)

All kidding aside, families are not exactly the happy havens our government would have us believe. Mothers regularly kill their children. Husbands frequently murder their wives and their children. Estranged fathers kidnap their estranged children. Children conspire to murder their sleeping parents, or hire other people to do the job for them.  Instead of having such a focus on the family, we should teach our children to be strong individuals, to openly discuss their feelings instead of swallowing them with pills, and definitely to steer clear of anyone dressed in a Santa suit, ever, under any circumstances.