Modern Music

Nat King Cole

Despite the Medicare card stuffed in my wallet, I have not yet downgraded into fuddy-duddyism. In fact, many people half my age are twice as boring. I still get down, hang loose and party. In fact, some readers might be shocked to know that I occasionally consume pot brownies, a safer way to go than smoking it and much better for you than drinking bourbon, vodka, scotch, gin, tequila and all the rest of that hooey to relax.

Despite all that, I simply cannot understand the success of some of today's popular artists, most notably rap singers, whose music contains lyrics like: "Who dat who dat, the nigga you been waitin for. I mean the shit was all bad just a week ago. Rappers is bull shittin'. Fuck it, I ain’t hatin' though, cuz now a nigga hot enough to fuck with one of satin’s hoes and she can't tell the difference."

These deep thoughts are contained within a song called "Who Dat" by a rapper named J. Cole, recently deemed one of the Best New Artists of 2011 by BET. He is quite successful and, at the age of 26, most likely could buy and sell you and me several times over. An interesting tidbit about him is that he graduated college magna cum laude, so he obviously is no dummy and can probably speak proper English. Nevertheless, he relates to his adoring public by spitting dirty words at them. This is how I know I am old: I still miss Frank Sinatra, yearn for Bing Crosby and swoon over Dean Martin. Perry Como gives me a thrill. And hearing Nat King Cole's voice always brings tears to my eyes. What I mean is, shit, that nigga could sing.