Why I Paint

I was once right in the middle of everything. I went to Woodstock. I was a hippie. I smoked pot and listened to all the big rock bands and saw all the big movies and knew everything that was going on culturally. Somewhere around the time everyone started saying, "It is what it is" and "At the end of the day," I checked out and learned it's possible to exist on Planet Earth and still be out of this world.

"Still Life With Sailboat"

For example, I have never heard Taylor Swift sing or seen her perform, yet she is allegedly "the most famous person in the world." All I know is that she has blond hair and is dating a football player and everyone is very excited about it.

I have only seen three of the 10 films nominated for Oscars and didn't think any of them deserved to be named "Best Picture." I tried to like Oppenheimer but did not, and refused to see Barbie for fear of degrading my brain.

I don't eat nachos, burritos, tacos or fajitas and don't know the difference between them. (Okay, I know nachos are a pile of chips with cheese melted on top.)

I'm not queer, bi, gay, trans, polyamorous, or anything out of the ordinary. I like members of the sex opposite to mine. I have had gay men friends but never any gay women. Sorry, can't help it, they freak me out.

I won't eat lobster. Too rubbery and tasteless. Living in Maine, this is borderline-punishable by death.

I don't hate Donald Trump. I don't even dislike him. I've tried, but it hasn't happened. This fact alone has made me what I am today: friendless in a heavily Democratic city and state.

I always thought Anthony Fauci was scum, even back in his AIDS heyday.

I am literally stupefied that anyone can think that Joe Biden has anything to do with running the country and that Kamala Harris is the Vice President despite being such a silly thing.

I have never seen Dancing With the Stars, American Idol, America's Got Talent, or any of those TV shows where people compete and then who won is in the news the next day.

So I paint.