Whoopi's Two-week Vacation

The head honchos at ABC decided to punish Caryn Johnson, a.k.a. Whoopi Goldberg, for her clueless comment regarding racism and the Holocaust by giving her two weeks off. More than a punishment for her, it's time enough for the story to die down and for the public to think they did something about it.

How best can Whoopi spend her time off? Maybe she could do some reading about the Jewish religion. She could even go to Israel. Or Brooklyn. Or take a trip to Washington, D.C.'s Holocaust Museum. 

She could learn how to make real bagels. Or gefilte fish. Or kugel -- or at least find out what kugel is.

Better yet, she could do the paperwork required to change her last name from "Goldberg" to "Cushion."