Frozen Penis; Vagina Privilege

This morning I had the misfortune of hearing the first episode of a podcast called "Gin and Juice with Fox and Goat." My husband once knew the Goat about five years ago, and he came across it on Facebook and played it for me. I'm sorry he did. But now he's sorry I'm writing about it, so we're even.

What it is is a tell-all about polyamory, which means screwing as many people as you feel like whenever you feel like it even if you are married, which Fox is. (Goat is unmarried.) Don't get too excited about the first episode: there's no sexy talk, just a whole lot -- and I mean a whole lot -- of loud cackling from Fox, the female of the duo, whose laugh is a dead ringer for Kamala Harris'. 

Ice sculpture, not a real frozen penis. 

A superwoman of sorts, Fox is married with three kids yet still finds time in her busy schedule to pleasure a husband and a boyfriend, plus answer the daily barrage of texts and emails from possible future partners hoping to satisfy her unabashed need for sex with multiple partners. ("It's just who I am," she explains.) She says it's easy to find them because of her "vagina privilege," a new term for me. Supposedly almost all women have it; I wonder if I do. (I'll have to ask my OB/GYN the next time I go.)

Okay, fine, be a slut if you want, I don't care. But here's what troubles me: Fox's compulsion to broadcast her shoddy values to the world, not only in a podcast but in her weekly blog, entitled "A Sexual Libra." Such a busy lady! I guess the last time those kids saw their mommy was when they were coming out of her vagina, about which her entire world now seemingly revolves.

On another front, a Finnish cross-country skier at the Beijing Olympics was forced to drop out of his race early because he was suffering from a frozen penis caused by extremely high winds and low temperatures. Apparently this was not the first time; the same thing happened to him once before in a different race. I have to assume he would not be an acceptable partner for Fox, whose vagina privilege surely demands a much higher quality of penis, at least one that's thawed out.