The Happy Holidays Letter

Hello All:

It might seem a tad early but today I received my first "Christmas Letter" in the mail, and it prompted me to write mine lest I forget, since this year I turned 75 and by all accounts (and certainly according to all those drug commercials for Prevagen) I might be losing many of my marbles any day now. 

Since Covid put a damper on things I have done very little traveling this year, although I have thought about visiting Hawaii, Italy, London, Tanzania, Israel and Greece. Where I went instead was to the North Fork of Long Island, which is a hidden way of saying The Hamptons because, well, you know, and to southern Florida, which never disappoints. The ocean is still there in all its glory; thankfully climate change has not ruined that. 

I'm pleased to report that my entire family has escaped Covid. That sounds like a lot of people but it's actually only me, my husband and our son, and my cousin Brian and his son Bailey. That's it. Oh, and my cat Lurch. He has caused me no end of problems as he refuses to wear the mask and I have no idea where he goes when he's out. For all I know it's a crowded beer hall, which are steadily becoming very popular here in our little town. Who knew Freeport would become the craft beer capital of the world?

In October my husband ran for the Freeport Town Council on the Jew from New York ticket, which lost him the race. He insists my blog lost him the race as some nosy townsfolk managed to find it and were shocked and dismayed by what they read, attributing my outrageous statements to Mitch instead of me, which is ridiculous. 

As a consequence of the local citizenry not supporting his candidacy I have decided not to participate in this year's Holiday Baking Extravaganza that takes place at the post office for two weeks leading up to Christmas Day. It's the least I can do in protest. The most I could do is go into town and Smash and Grab several of the high-end stores, since that sort of robbery seems to go unpunished these days, but alas, it seems like an awful lot of work. Besides, Mitch has refused to drive the getaway car.

This year I sold two paintings and gave four away to friends, so I'm busy making new ones to replace those missing canvases. Painting remains my passion and does not require me to wear a mask, so I'm happy.

The bad news is that I had a boatload of strange illnesses this year, none of them fatal thank goodness but bad enough to keep me mainlining Extra Strength Tylenol. I'm asking Santa to bring me a new body for Christmas.

This being the sixth night of Hanukah and God knows what day of Kwaanza, I wish all those happy holidays to my loyal readers in addition to Christmas. May all your dreams come true!