It's crazy these days how the English language is being crippled by political correctness. Really, it's sort of retarded. Everyone knows the obvious ones, like the N-word, which means nigger, but every day more are added to the list of no-nos. Like now you can't say "picnic" because it has some sort of convoluted racist meaning. Same for the words slave, master, grandfathered, blacklist, and brown bag, as in a "brown bag lunch." These rules are made for us by the Words Matter Task Force at the University of Michigan. Thank God someone is on it!
You can't say dummy. You can't say low-hanging fruit because it makes black people think of lynchings. The helpful folks on the task force suggest options, like saying "weakened" instead of "crippled" and "unthinkable" instead of "crazy." So, in the giving spirit of the season and as a Jew, I offer the following list of words upsetting to my people that may trigger anxiety, and where possible offer inoffensive replacements:
camp (place in the woods)
camping (hanging out in the woods)
campsite (home in the woods)
concentration (think hard)
concentration camp (college)
Aryan race (murderers)
blueberry bagel (sesame bagel)
cinnamon raisin bagel (poppyseed bagel)
the game Yahtzee (Scrabble)
German chocolate cake (chocolate babka)
German measles (plain measles)
Germany (France)
holocaust (big mess)
hologram (sounds too much like holocaust)
ghetto (neighborhood)
trains (cars, planes, boats, buses)
showers (baths)
gas chambers (there is no substitute)
chamber music (rock, pop, soul, jazz, country, classical)
Volkswagen (Jaguar)
Weiner schnitzel (make something else)
finals (exams)
final solution (one way to do it)
furious (brings to mind Fuhrer, say angry)
hometown (brings up Hymietown)
"aw, shit" (sounds like Auschwitz, say "oh, crap")
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