2023

I was at home, alone, when the pounding on the door came. I debated going to hide in our panic room but decided they would just kick in the door and it's only been a month since I had it repaired from the last time, so I opened it.  As I assumed, it was the Mask Guard. The biggest guy yelled, "You are not wearing a mask!" 

I nodded in agreement. I knew enough not to answer and get my admission on a recording like my friend did. She ended up in the service to Commandant Harris, doing her hand washables for two months. No thanks. He boomed, "Why not?"

I said the first thing that came to mind. "I have asthma, and my doctor said I shouldn't wear it indoors when nobody else was around." That was a total lie, and I hoped their lie detectors didn't pick it up or I'd be in real hot water.

"Fine," said the other guy, who was smaller and seemed to be a bit more humane. "Still, we will have to fine you," he said, handing me a yellow ticket. Then they turned and left, the mean one barking out, "We will check on that asthma story."

I wondered how I was going to pay the $200 fine and how I could convince some doctor I had asthma. Picking up my magazine, I read about life in Portugal, where people were sunning on a beach, maskless. If only I had moved there two years ago after they killed Biden and she took over.