Make A New Friend: You

She is really annoyed at having to stay home and not see any of her friends.

The major thing wrong with this pandemic, besides all the deaths and horrible suffering, is being stuck at home with your inner child. Oh relax, I'm not making light of a dire situation, it's just that after all is taken from you, funny is what's left.

Anyway, for me, the major thing wrong, besides the death and suffering, is being stuck alone with the brat who shares my body. Sure, my husband is at home but he's working all day and I hardly see him more than I saw him when he was traveling around the country. And I see my friends who live locally not at all, and the ones who live far away are out of my reach until God knows when, Zoomtinis notwithstanding. So all day it's just me and my cat, and to be honest he's not much of a conversationalist. Besides, Lurch only wants me for what I can do for him: Brush his fur, feed him, clean his litter box, give him treats and be his comfy bed, and I do mean be the bed, which for me is not comfy at all. (If you have a cat you can relate.)

So I'm here with her all day and I'm not liking it. Mostly because she has stopped going to the gym and started eating out of control. And once again I must say that being fat, or at least feeling fat, sucks. Am I right? (God knows those Fat Acceptance people must suffer as much as we do with a tight waistband on a pair of jeans.) She has also stopped getting professional haircuts and so every day chops off a little more, at random and without benefit of a rear view mirror. We now have what I call the Convicted Felon Bob.

I keep telling myself: Make friends with all your parts since we have no idea how long this will last. Stop smoking, lose the weight, don't be a drunk, etc., etc. It's much more fun being in solitary confinement with someone you actually like.