Finding Solace with Zen

Hey, I'm as mindful as the next person. And I am also sick and tired of this Covid-19 lockdown, making me wide open to suggestions as to how to ease the pain of forced home detention. Still I found the article in today's Wall Street Journal completely insulting. "Find Your Zen in Household Chores" was obviously written either by or for morons, or possibly idiots. The graphic shown above which accompanies the article is a perfect example. Let's take a couple of their suggestions and look at them closely.

Notice your breathing while you wash the dishes. What they don't say is try not to think abut how when you're in the hospital on a ventilator your breathing will be almost nil which is why they have to hook you up to a machine in order to continue living, and that 80% of the people on ventilators will die.

While sweeping the floor, be curious about the different spots on the floor. Like hey, is that cat throw-up or is it dirt brought in from the garden? Or is it dried Chianti I spilled while swigging a bottle after hearing Dr. Anthony Fauci say the next wave of the virus coming this fall could be much worse and a vaccine will not happen, if ever, until 2021?

Wonder at how wet clothes will change in color and weight as they air dry. Hmmm -- that makes me think of how my body will turn a deadly pale and shrivel in size as I succumb to the coronavirus. (Finally I'll hit my goal weight!)

For more helpful suggestions like these we are supposed to visit mindful minutes.com, a website written by someone named Melissa Eisler. I think I won't. Instead I will watch another episode of "Bojack Horseman" on Netflix and eat a bag of potato chips. And where is that bottle of Chianti? That seems to do the trick.